No matter how “down home” a place tries to be, there are certain things that do not belong on a restaurant table-whip cream canisters, being one of them.  I thought I was seeing things when I saw them at Ditch Plains, but unfortunately I was wrong.  It was as if I had been transported to a diner in middle America, except I was in downtown Manhattan, where even restaurants that uses canned whip cream would have the decency to hide them in the privacy of their own kitchens.  The sight was as disturbing as seeing your parents having sex-you know they do it, but you just don’t want to think about it.

 

Having said that, there were plenty of things that were good about Ditch Plains. You can be delighted by a rich and flavorful smoke clam chowder, and amused by the fresh simple lobster roll. Although, you might want to skip the sweet potato chips as they seemed to resembled the blue chips on those Jet Blue flights, except much more soggy. I have a feeling they got it from the same place as Jet Blue too.  Carb-phobes would undoubtedly be delighted by the grilled fish, as it is a huge hunk of grilled tuna, slightly over cooked for my taste, with a green salad.  

 

Then, there is the sleek  clean decor, which is dark and very sexy, and would make the place great for dates if it weren’t for the oysters.  The dozen oysters served on a huge platter of crushed ice was okay, but lacked distinction- certainly not any great impetus for ensuing romantic interludes.  As for the desserts? Forget about it.  My pecan pie was soggy from the microwave.  Ditto, for my friend’s sour cream apple pie.  Why anyone would reheat a pie in a microwave is a great mystery that I will never solve.  Every restaurant must have an oven, and how hard is it to just stick the damn thing in the oven? Unless, of course, Ditch Plains does not have an oven-a suspicion that has crawled upon me during dinner, and all the way to the time when the waitress bought me my coffee in a paper cup.  No, I did not order that to go.

 

Now I am really peeved! I realized that Ditch Plains used to be Yumcha. It is conceivable that a Chinese restaurant, even an upscale one, would not have an oven. But, with the money that Marc Murphy is raking in at Landmarc, he can damn well afford at least a toaster oven.  

 

But, what da’ hell do I know anyway?  The place appeared to be packed on a tuesday night, and people seemed to really like it. Even though, something on the next table smelled like a decomposed animal and dinner which came out to $104 for two people who didn’t drink, was not exactly cheap. Maybe, asking that my food be cooked properly is asking for too much. I like to think that that is not the case because not far from Ditch Plains, is a neat little place that actually has very nicely cooked food. It’s been running for years, and it’s called Pearl Oyster Bar.

 

Food: Uneven

Service: Friendly and courteous

Crowd: Mostly coupled west villagers

Decor: Sexy

Attitude: It’s an upscale diner for christ sake

 

Ditch Plains

29 Bedford Street

212-633-0202