Did you know that if a CM - cast member (all WDW employees are called “cast members because they are all considered “on stage”) is observed being not-so-Disney-friendly with a guest he is sent away to be “pixie dusted”?

God only knows what that’s all about.

I guess this pretty much explains the almost freakish friendliness the Disney employees exhibit. How do they stay so perky with all those horrible tourists? And for the most part, they do. Here’s a list of the truly thankless jobs at Walt Disney World.

Lifeguarding at one of the resorts on a lake. There are signs - NO SWIMMING.  Apparently the bacteria levels are very high, plus there are snakes and occasional alligators. But does that stop parents from letting their kids wallow around in the mucky water? The guards every so politely remind them swimming is not allowed  and the parents ever so rudely ignore them.

Actually, I’ll expand above to include anyone whose job it is to tell parents that their kids can’t do just about anything, like ride rides they are too short for, climb things that aren’t meant to be climbed on, or touch things that are not to be touched. I once saw a father shouting at a young cast member because Pirates of the Caribbean was closed for refurbishment. It was  as if he thought the poor young guy had personally closed the ride to ruin his family’s vacation.

The girls that play Jasmine in the parks at the character meet and greets. How they  continues to smile sweetly while thousands of lecherous Dads flirt and drool over their breasts is beyond me.

The handlers for all of the characters at character meet and greets.  On a daily basis they have to try to control adults knocking down children for pictures with Goofy, and parents who are  screaming at them for letting Mickey have bathroom breaks.

Pin trading station CMs. Those pin traders are scary.

Club level lounge staff members. Breakfast at the club level

lounge is a lot like breakfast in juvenile hall. Except that the guards can punish the kids in juvenile hall. And the parents of the kids in juvenile hall aren’t around to defend their kids’ rights to take one bite of a doughnuts and throw it on the floor.

The guys that follow the horses in the parades. They are costumed and choreographed, but they are still just guys with horse sized pooper scoopers.

Mousekeepers. (Housekeepers) Once upon a time mousekeepers  decided it would be nice to every so often make little animals out of washcloths and surprise the guests with them. Maybe they really couldn’t have known that this simple act of kindness could cause such a ruckus lead to thousands of guests demanding “towel animals” and bitching them out if they didn’t get one.

Reservationists. How many times a day do you think they have to tell people that they can’t use discount codes they aren’t eligible for?  Hell hath no fury like a WDW fanatic denied a discount code his neighbor got.

Fast pass checkers. Now that people are making counterfeit fast passes and selling them on ebay, the CMs standing at the line to take the passes have to a) argue with the people trying to enter the line with fake passes and b) argue with the people trying to enter the line without fast passes and c) argue with people who are trying to enter with passes at the wrong times. I’d want to shoot myself.

So I guess “the pixie dusting” works because you hardly ever see a crabby CM. It makes you wonder if that “pixie dust” isn’t just some kind of antidepressant.