I am a parent. My child is grown now, but I did the whole kid thing and it was super freaking rewarding, I assure you. However at this point in my life, sometimes I just want to do things without kids around.

Not an easy thing at Walt Disney World. I know. “Disney is for kids and families because that’s what Walt intended, yadda yadda yadda”. I’ve heard it all. Maybe Walt didn’t create Disney World so that my 24 year old daughter and I  could have a Disney magical place to sip cocktails and avoid children, but there you have it - that’s what we like to do at WDW. We love Disney, but sometimes we like it a little calmer, a little quieter,

1. 1)so it’s worth planning trips for the quieter, calmer times of year. I think the best times are late September or early May, because only the really crappy parents want to take their kids out of school when school has just started or is about to end for summer break. Once we get there,
   

2. 2)we let the early birds catch the worms and we catch a little more sleep. Have you seen the club level lounge at the Polynesian Resort at 8:00 am? Oh lord, it’s 100 little kids watching Hannah Montana, bagels flying through the air, corn flakes crunching under your feet and everything - and I mean everything in the lounge is sticky. Thank goodness it’s cleaned up and pretty much cleared out by 9:30 or 10:00 when we show up. We have our coffee and then we
   

3. 3)head for the health club. There is one just a short walk from the Polynesian between the wedding chapel and the Grand Floridian that is much nicer than my regular gym (meaning the machines all work and it doesn’t stink in there). It’s a peaceful, child-free zone. After we burn off the calories from last night’s dinner we
   

4. 4)have lunch. And the best way to do that in a more grown up setting is to find the restaurants that serve icky foods that kids don’t like, and the places without characters anywhere to be found. Chef Mickey’s is fun once in awhile, but we prefer Le Chefs de Paris or Tokyo Dining, both at EPCOT.
   

5. 5)After lunch there are parades at the Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, and The Studios, but we avoid them like the plague. I don’t as a rule dislike parades, but those afternoon ones are really crowded and people have been hoarding the good places to watch them by stretching out blankets on the curbs since 9:00 in the morning. And if you do manage to find a good spot, a parent will give you dirty looks for denying their kid the chance to have it. It’s too hot that time of day anyway in Florida. Better to
   

6. 6)find the bars.( See my March 28 entry - You Look Like You Need a Drink. )  or
   

7. 7)check out the entertainment schedule at EPCOT. The Flower and Garden Festival is going on right now so that means 60s music, (flower power,baby!) like Herman’s Hermits and Davey Jones!!!
   

8. 8)While it’s hard to find a restaurant at WDW without high chairs and kids’ menus, children 11 and under have actually been banned from Victoria and Albert’s at the Grand Floridian!  We like having dinner at one of the nicer restaurants and then
   

9. 9)going late to the Pirate and Princess party at the Magic Kingdom. This separately ticketed event limits crowd size and by 10:00 many of the junior royals and young buccaneers are heading to bed, so we show up for the last couple of hours and have the park to ourselves.
   

10. 10) And after a nice evening no matter where we are, I like a nice quiet ride back to the our resort (as opposed to a long bus ride crowded with parents and kids at the end of their ropes) so we rent a car. Totally worth it.
    

Oh, don’t have a conniption fit, we love kids and seeing their happy little faces at Walt Disney World is the best. Sometimes. And sometimes it’s not.