So an interesting thing happened today.  No, it wasn’t the birth of my child.  Kim went to the doctor ( I am sure you are tired of my doctor stories by now, but too bad) and got some interesting news.  Kim has actually regressed.  Her cervix has actually closed back up.  In fact, the doctor said that the fetus, which was at 8.5 months of life, has actually regressed to 6 months.  So we are now due in June.  June 13.

 

Ok, so that is the largest load of crap I could come up with in a 5 second span, but that is truly what it feels like.  Kim DID go to the doctor today (who, incidentally, said that the doctor that got us going last friday has a habit of doing that), and he said that there are no significant changes.  Kim has had some (what we have no determined) real contractions, but nothing consistent, and nothing where she doubles over and can’t talk.   We really could have used a little better advice on the whole contraction thing up front.  No one said “You’ll know cuz you won’t be able to walk/breathe/talk etc...”  It was all about differing levels of “intensity.”  That’s horse crap.  Someone should have said “Kit, its like when something kinda hits you in the jewels.”  That way I would have a reference to relay to my wife.

 

And that damn doctor.  

 

Well, as there is no baby, no impending baby, and apparently a baby due in 3 months from now, I have no real news.  I can make some up.  Today Kim actually found a million dollar bill.  I won a Dodge Viper. Molly learned to speak English.  

 

William Powell Jenkins, of course.