Part II. SETI: Too Far From Home

by John Martellaro

July 11th, 1999

It's really dark. Lots of stars.

Dan says we're on the way to see Tina Aquilar. An old girlfriend who works for Hewlett Packard. He's mumbling something about Tina. Six feet one. Blonde. Former NCAA tennis champion at New Mexico University. I'm not really listening. Too busy looking out the van window, watching the sky for -- I don't know what.

We pull into Tina's driveway about midnight. Not too many lights on. Dan calls her on his cell phone and tells her we're outside. If I hadn't been so scared, I would have paid more attention to that T-shirt she was wearing when she opened the door. All she was wearing.

Lisa, Anthony and I waited in the car while Dan explained to her what happened. I watched Dan gesture a bit while she stood under the porch light shaking her head "no." Dan talked some more. Finally, Tina shrugged and went back inside. Dan waved to us.

"Lisa! Bring Anthony inside. The rest of us are going to the lab."

Tina is in the back seat and Dan is driving. We're about five minutes from the H-P plant. The access road is pretty dark. Tina is looking out the side window.

"Hey, guys. If I don't see a damn alien tonight, I'm gonna have to ask for my money back on this ride."

I look at Dan. Dan looks at me.

Then I hear it. The hum. But it's a lot louder this time. Then I see it. Something very big and black, with a blue glow around the circular edge is rising over the trees. The tension in the hum is scarring the hell out of me.

"Dan, we have company."

"Any suggestions?" Dan has his eyes glued to the road.

"Tell me you have a gun in the glove compartment."

"Yep. The Browning 9 mm. Eight rounds. Hollow points. Really want to do that?"

"Do we have a choice? Watch out!"

A blast of orange light in the road ahead blinds us for a second. Dan blinked too long, and we're off the road. Tina goes to the floor.

The engine quits.

Dan is trying the start the van. He turns to Tina. "Tina, there's a flashlight back there somewhere. Look for a yellow plastic.tool box." Tina starts digging for the flashlight. Meanwhile I pull the slide on the Browing and roll down the passenger window.

Something in the bushes is moving. I yell at Tina. "Shine the light in those bushes!" Then I see it. It's on two legs but that's about all I can say. The upper torso doesn't look like anything you've ever seen on Star Trek. I fire two rounds. Don't know if I hit it. It moved fast.

Dan gets the van started, and I roll the window up. "Did you guys see that?"

"Nope." Dan reports." Still seeing orange spots."

"Ugly mother." Tina says. "Was that four tentacles or two arms and two tentacles?"

"Still want your money back?" I ask.

"Can I shoot the next one?"

I look at Dan. Dan looks at me.

I drive the rest of the way. We pull up to the main entrance and drive right up the handicapped ramp. No need to be way out there in the middle of the parking lot. We scramble out. Tina has her access badge and runs it through the reader.

"Follow me," she says.

"So what are you thinking, John boy?" Dan asks as he pushes the big glass doors closed. They click and lock shut.

"There's something in that message we're not supposed to see. I don't know if these are the guys who sent it, or whether they're trying to stop the message from yet some other planet."

Dan is scratching his head while we walk down a dark hallway. "What if it's some kind of rescue signal? What if those, whatevers, out there need this data to get home? Or get rescued? Maybe their ship is damaged. Maybe we should just give it to them? See what happens."

"Yeah right."

"Think about it. They're being awfully discreet and polite. They could have just blown us and the van to pieces. Or nuked my house while we were all there."

"True" I said. "They're not being real heavy handed. Probably trying the avoid doing anything conspicuous. Or damage the timeline. (See? Geordi's got nuthin' on me!) But I got a good look at one of them. So did TIna. What'll they do with us if we just walk out into the parking lot, wave our arms, and say 'Here. Take my PDA.' "

"You mean if you two go out into the parking lot," Dan winks.

"I'll tell you what'll happen. E-ticket ride to vacuum. Sky diving from 300 kilometers. No refunds."

"Probably not a good idea afterall." Dan rubs his eyes. "If they get their witnesses and the PDA, their job is done. Time to boogey."

"Right. Except for Lisa! She saw enough to start screaming. And there's our data at your house. "

Dan frowned. "They've probably grabbed all that by now. Any report Lisa files, if she files one, wouldn't be high credence. Just another close encounter story and no physical evidence." We ride the elevator down a level.

"So if we get the data uploaded," I said, "their problems multiply. They'll have to go after the Berkeley servers. Maybe they'll leave. Maybe we can hide here in this maze until morning when everyone shows up. Five thousand engineers by eight am. Daylight."

"Here we are," Tina says. "The computer lab."

"Shit. All PCs. Where's the floppy Dan?|"

"Back in my 840."

"We need some kind of PC adapter."

"I have a Palm kit in my office," Tina says. "I think it has a PC cable. Hang loose."

Dan calls Tina's house to see if Lisa and Anthony are okay. They are. My wife's in London on business. Nothing to do, so I take a minute to update my personal log in the PDA.

In a few minutes, Tina returns with a connector, we've got the Palm connected to an HP Vectra, and we're ready to connect to Berkeley.

At that moment two things happened simultaneously. The lights in the lab went out and all the computers shut down. And the lab doors blew open with enough force to knock us off our chairs. Three blue spheres the size of softballs, bright enough to blind me, come swirling in at eye level. I counted three of the aliens coming though the doors, and they immediately split, right left, and center. I got back up and emptied the gun into two of them, but they were moving fast amd I couldn't see real well. Don't know if I hit anything. Tina picked up a PC monitor and threw it at the one on the right, catching it in the horse-like face. I saw it go down. As I turned, I saw Dan grab a metal pole coat rack and whirl it into the one on the left. Got it right in the face as well, but it kept on coming. I caught the one in the middle with a karate front thrust kick, but it had too much momentum and just drove me backwards. Still charging, it grabbed me with four tentacles, and we both went down. I think I hit my head on the edge of a table...

It's Monday morning. I have a splitting headache.

I really like my brand new Palm PDA. Fresh out of the box. After I learn how to use it, I think I'll keep my appointment book in there and some personal notes. Gotta remember to call Dan and Lisa about the Rockies tickets I picked up.

By the way, I've deleted the SETI@home screen saver. It's just too boring looking at sky noise over and over.

Sigh. Time to go to work.