NEWSICAL 17

The Pope meets Muslim nations' envoys in an attempt to defuse a row between the Catholic Church and Islam.

Secretly, one of Vatican's senior cardinals admitted that he was afraid of another faux Pope that could fuel radical Islamist. The first faux Pope had caused widespread unrest in the Arab world.

The newspaper in France quoted the Saudi secret services as saying the al-Qaeda leader had died of typhoid in Pakistan.

According to unconfirmed report, Osama Bin Laden is indeed dead. But even dead Osama is very good at eluding every spy agency on the planet; every green, blue and purple Berets and Navy Seals. When asked what George Bush thinks about rumored demise of the number one terrorist, he first consulted with his advisers for several hours and then produced the following reply, "Good, we win! Freedom is on the move. Democracy will rule. Evil doers will get theirs." Then George W. stopped talking suddenly and his aids rushed in to replace his batteries and turn over the tape.

Hundreds of U2 fans have waited overnight to meet their rock heroes

Here is a brief interview with some of the U2 fans.

Reporter: Are you here for the U2 tickets?

Fan #1: You too?

Reporter: No, I'm a reporter. Is U2 your favorite band?

Fan #2: Me too! Wow! They is rock.

Reporter: Who's your favorite band member?

Fan #1: The Who sucks man! You too, you too.

Reporter: I suck?

Fan #2: No man. He says U2 rocks.

Reporter: Well, there you have it. Fanatical devotion to rock's baddest bands.

Fan #1: You suck!