Pantoum: Carson McCullers and Misanthropy at Yaddo

 

 

An odd child, I sprawled in bed, conjured her square pale face,

Propelled myself into her enormous dark eyes

And imagined, for years, that I curled inside her mind.

At Yaddo I drank sherry from a thermos, strode lank-legged

 

Like Carson, propelled myself into her enormous dark eyes

Then picked up my pen, clutched it left-handed, awkwardly Carson-like.

At Yaddo, I drank sherry from a thermos, meandered lank-legged,

Strolled the rose gardens alone, talking to Carson, still dead from her stroke.

 

I picked up my pen, clutched it left-handed, awkwardly Carson-like.

At Yaddo I wandered friendless, alone, the other writers scapegoating me,

Toured the Mansion’s cavernous rooms imagining McCullers as my friend.

The other guests played Scrabble while I hunched in my darkening studio.

 

At Yaddo I wandered friendless, alone, the other writers scapegoating me

And imagined, for hours, that I curled inside her mind.

The other guests played Scrabble while I hunched in my shadowed studio.

An odd woman, I sprawled in bed and conjured her square pale face.                                       printable

Pantoum: Staying in David Michael Kaplan’s Studio at the Millay Colony

 

My husband said, "Like a child, you’re eerily impressionable."

I demurred, paced in the pink-canopied bedroom,

Stooped to examine the name pen-scrawled on the doorjamb.

I stayed up all that night, read "Doe Season" fifteen times.

I demurred, paced in the pink-canopied bedroom.

Kaplan’s tour-de-force catapulted me toward Writer Euphoria.

I stayed up all that night, read "Doe Season" fifteen times.

That night, Andy’s shot doe tiptoed closer.

Kaplan’s tour-de-force catapulted me toward Writer Euphoria.

When I sat down to write, an ersatz "Doe Season" flowed from my pen.

While I slept, Andy’s shot doe tiptoed closer.

I shivered, conjured the doe’s huge heart pulsing red between my fingers.

When I sat down to write, an ersatz "Doe Season" flowed from my pen.

I stooped to examine the name pen-scrawled on the doorjamb.

I shivered, conjured the huge doe heart pulsing red between my fingers.

My husband said, "Like a child, you’re eerily impressionable."                                                printable