I almost got run over twice today... at the same crosswalk within 5 seconds. Why? Was I crossing the road incorrectly? Was I all dressed in black and invisible to traffic? No. I was walking into the mall and everybody who drives in this state is a Masshole (Massachusetts Asshole). Despite having a state law (with heavy fines) that says pedestrians have the right of way, every jackass seems to disregard common courtesy and safety. I was in the mall parking lot trying to go to the bank when a shitty, old BMW made a sudden left out of the parking lane and almost ran me over. The car didn’t even stop at the intersection to see if there was any oncoming traffic coming. She just turned left and suddenly saw me 20 feet in front of her. Once she acknowledged I was there and I started walking again, this big, white Dodge Ram pickup revved its engine from the drop-off area and barreled my way. This new jackass wasn’t going to stop and I stared him down. He screeched to a halt and I continued walking (with my evil-eyes stare) and gave him the “whats-the-matter” shrug and the “I can’t believe you” turning of the head. The guy thought it was my fault for slowing him down during his 0-60 launch in his gas guzzling truck. Mister... FUCK YOU!

This same FU goes out to all the people in Massachusetts who can’t drive while talking on a cell phone, those who think swerving in and out of traffic is a valid way of driving, those who drive 110 mph in a 55 mph zone, those who don’t know where they are going so they hog 2 lanes of traffic, and those who honk at me when the goddamn traffic light is red. People here need to take driving lessons and learn some common courtesy. This shit doesn’t happen in the South. Oh, and the state cops here look like the German SS. I have yet to see a cop pull a Masshole over for any of the offenses I listed above. Instead I see them parked on the side of the road giving protection to the highly ineffective MA road workers. This state is the worst I’ve ever lived in...