- I had started my quit. I was
in my sixth day,
- I had just moved to Quitsville,
though I wanted to play.
- I sat home with my spaniel,
we sat there, we two,
- and I said, "how I long
for a ciggie or two."
- Too soon in my quit to
be trusted at all,
- So we sat in the house out of
fear I would fall.
- And all I could think of was
Puff! Puff! Puff! Puff!
- But I had decided enough was
enough.
- And then something went knock!
Such a shocking loud knock!
- We looked! Then he opened the
door and stepped in!
- We looked! It was Winston, my
old Evil Twin!
- And he said to me,"What's
with this quit that you're in?
- I know you have quit, and you're
feeling quite bad,
- but we go way back, and we've
smoked quite a tad"
- "I know some good smokes
we could smoke" said my twin.
- "Camel Filters, or straights?"
asked my old evil twin.
- "Some nice tasty smoke
is the thing that you need.
- let's go buy you a pack of your
favorite weed."
- My pooch Scuppers and I
were unsure what to say.
- I had vowed to stay 'way from
the old Pik 'n' Pay.
- I logged into the Q to ask what
should I do.
- And they said "nay, nay,
nay! Make that twin go away!
- Tell old Winston, that jerk
that you'll make this quit work!
- He should not be there! You
should just throw him out!
- Don't be caught unaware! He's
a bum, he's a lout!"
- "Now, now, now, have no
fear, have no fear," said my twin.
- "We'll just have one with
beer. Only one is no sin,"
- Said my old evil twin. "Slip
City's the place we can go
- for some smokes, and the folks
- at the Quitnet will not need
to know."
- "We will know!" said
the Q from behind my small screen.
- "Winston's no good for
you." I was caught in between.
- "Have no fear!" said
my twin you do not have to fall.
- You can have a few puffs, you
need not smoke them all.
- You can stash all the rest for
some horrible day
- when your nerves are all frayed
and you're put to the test."
- So I did it. We went over to
Bud's Smoke 'n' Pump.
- As I lined up to purchase a
pack of my Humps,
- I looked under the counter and
what did I see,
- I could swear I heard Skittles®
say "pick me, pick me!"
- I grabbed them and parted with
fifty-five cents,
- And while Winston was gazing
at 'zines just for gents
- I ran out of that dump and abandoned
that chump.
Home to Quitsville I raced from
that Slip City place.
- I was not rid of Winston, he
was slow to give chase.
- But he found his way back to
endanger my quit.
- Winston's caused me to slip,
made me feel like a shit,
- but I've learned to ignore him,
and say "beat it, you twit."
[compliments, but no apologies,
to Dr. Seuss]
The Twit in
the Quit, Part 2
| Big Quit Contents