A Brief Glossary of Quitticisms (Quit-terms and Quit-phrases)
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| 3D-Land Airhead syndrome | The "real world," beyond the perimeter of Quitnet and your computer monitor, where you used to smoke. This is where food comes from. Stupor induced by the act of quitting. See CRS Syndrome, Zyban moment, newbie, oxymoron. | ||
| Ancient | Person who has quit smoking for a year or more. | ||
| Ashtray toss | Ceremonial discarding of the last ashtray, in celebration of 8 months of Quit. | ||
| Angst | State of mind of a quitster, especially during Hell week. | ||
| BBS (Browser's Butt Syndrome) | Painful condition of the posterior arising from overuse of computer equipment. | ||
| Booting | 1) What happens to you if the chat room is too full and you are forced to leave; 2) what you must do over when your computer freezes; 3)what one often does to one's self after slippage; 4) what Nate does to people who attempt to advertise products on Quitnet | ||
| Closet smoking | Act of smoking in secret. | ||
| Closet quitting | 1) Cessation of closet smoking without telling anyone, for fear that they will think less of you as a former smoker; 2) cessation of smoking openly without telling anyone, because you have failed in the past and cannot bear the ridicule. | ||
| Cold Turkey | Strategy of sudden cessation of tobacco consumption, originally used to describe the process of stopping the use of the less addictive,less deadly, and illegal narcotic drugs. | ||
| CRS Syndrome | Can't Remember Shit Syndrome, common among those involved in The Quit. See Airhead syndrome, newbie, oxymoron. | ||
| Cyber cig | ==========~~~~ (see virtual cigarette) | ||
| Dumpster dance | Ritual performed prior to discarding all tobacco and smoking paraphernalia in the neighborhood dumpster, before setting it all ablaze and running like hell. | ||
| Dumpster dive | The act of recovering the half-pack you threw out 4 hours ago, declaring that your smoking days were over | ||
| Elder | Someone who has been quit for 100 days or longer. Elders sit in the front row and wear silly hats. | ||
| Evil twin | Indestructible character frequently blamed for subverting a quit. | ||
| Feedbag | Device normally used for feeding horses, frequently used by quitsters during their first month for massive consumption of anything edible. | ||
| Final Quit date | Day you actually did succeed at smoking cessation (not known with certainty until death). | ||
| Floaties | Withdrawal symptom involving a floating sensation, accompanied by general clumsiness, especially crashing into walls and stumbling into metal wastebaskets while making presentations. | ||
| Flying the Kite | The act of celebrating 100 days of quit. | ||
| Girlfriend | Term of endearment among females engaged in The Quit. | ||
| Gnashing of Teeth | Action that follows a slip. | ||
| Half-century | Landmark of the quit celebrating 50 days. | ||
| Heebie Jeebies | Sensation of constant irritability common during nicotine withdrawal. | ||
| Heck Week | The week that follows Hell Week (usually, week 2). | ||
| Hell Week | The first week of smoking cessation. And sometimes the second (and third...). | ||
| How long you been quit? | Common question asked by a stranger in the chatroom, meaning "how long has it been since you smoked last?" | ||
| Humps | Unfiltered Camel cigarettes. | ||
| Hump Juniors | Camel filters, the favorite brand of Joe Camel (and ToddL) | ||
| In your dreams | 1) Where you can continue to smoke all you want; 2) where you can purchase risk-free, nonaddictive cigarettes; 3) place where you can do other things that you might not wish to admit to. | ||
| Joe Camel | Phallic spokesperson for Camel cigarettes, darling of children, icon of devil-may-care smoking coolness, sophistication and genitalia. One of the most successful marketing strategies in history. | ||
| Kicking butt | The act of smoking cessation. | ||
| KTQ | Keep the quit. | ||
| LOL | Quaint Canadian expression that indicates belly-laughter. | ||
| Melancholia | The feeling of sentimental longing for your dear old friend who would never fail you, the cigarette. | ||
| Nate | The godfather of the quitnet, quitwiz, wunderkind, mastermind of all quitnet software and source of all technical answers. | ||
| New Quit date | Day you choose to quit, after an unsuccessful negotiation with Evil Twin (see quit date). | ||
| Newbie | Someone recently quit, normally afflicted with airhead syndrome and CRS syndrome. | ||
| Nick | Nickname for Nicodemon. | ||
| Nicodemon | Character frequently blamed for human weakness to nicotine addiction. | ||
| NT | No text: indication that all the person has to say has been said within the paltry limits of that one little subject line, so read no further. | ||
| Oxygen | Atmospheric gas that is delivered with great enthusiasm to your brain shortly after a quit, due to the sudden absence of carbon monoxide in your bloodstream. | ||
| Oxymoron | Individual influenced by the stupor of excessive oxygen; see newbie, airhead syndrome. | ||
| Ph.D. | Degree in the field of Quitology that is conferred upon a person who has quit smoking for a year. | ||
| Pik 'n' Pay | Convenience store in your neighborhood where you used to buy most of your cigarettes, frequented by Nicodemon. | ||
| Poor man's wellbutrin | Skittles® | ||
| Poor man's zyban | St. John's wort | ||
| PPP | 1) Point-to-point Protocol, a geek-term for a common method that computers use to connect to the internet by modem; 2) what you do during hell week with all the water you drink drink drink. | ||
| Practice quit | Any effort to stop smoking that results in a new quit date. | ||
| Q-tie | 1) Gender-specific generic term for distaff quitsters, used especially in California; 2) apparel worn about the neck by male quitsters at meetings with scary people wearing suits. | ||
| Q-ster | Person engaged in the quit who cannot pronounce quitster. | ||
| Q | The web site, quitnet.com | ||
| Quit date | The day you choose to begin smoking cessation. See New Quit Date, Final Quit Date | ||
| Quitbud | One who frequents quitnet.org. | ||
| Quitchick | Fabulous female quitster (example: SaraC). | ||
| Quit-limerick | Silly rhyme composed in honor of a quit-bud's anniversary. | ||
| Quitnet | 1) The web site, quitnet.com, 2) A device for capturing evil twins (I bet with this quitnet, I'll get that twit yet) | ||
| Quitster | Person engaged in the quit who does not wish to be called a quitter | ||
| Quitstipation | Irregularity in bowel movements associated with smoking cessation. | ||
| Quitstop | 1) A forum for discussing the quit process; 2) a seldom-used chat-room (rumored to permit smoking) | ||
| Quitsville | Location of successful quits | ||
| quit | To cease an activity. | ||
| Quit | The process of ending the habit of smoking tobacco products; later on, the achievement of having ended the habit, but perhaps never ending the addiction. | ||
| Quitliness | That indefinable quality possessed by people who have quit. It is next to godliness. | ||
| Quitology | The scholarly study of The Quit, or the act of smoking cessation. | ||
| Quitulence | Intestinal gas associated with smoking cessation. | ||
| Quitzits | Acne pimples that arise on middle-aged faces of those who have recently quit | ||
| Ramble | Celebratory musings, normally delivered on or near anniversaries. | ||
| Relapse | Repeated acts of tobacco consumption, to the point of reactivating the nicotine addiction. | ||
| Recovery | Euphemism for withdrawal; see Heeby Jeebies, Oxymoron | ||
| ROFL | Rolling on the floor laughing. Many claim to do this, but do you REALLY think so? Canadian spelling: ROTFL | ||
| ROFLMAO | Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off. Even more people claim to do this, but we'll never know how truthful it is. | ||
| SJW | St. John's Wort. 1) An herb that is believed to reduce post-quit depression; 2) unsightly growth on the nose of a Hollywood starlet from the 1960's. | ||
| Skiptickle | 1) Mythical creature reputed to roam the plains of Saskatchewan; 2) what one does when one is in a hurry during, well, you know... | ||
| Skittles | Fruit of the skittletree; homeopathic folk remedy for sudden cravings encountered at the Pik 'n' Pay. | ||
| Slip | Moment of temporary weakness in which tobacco products are ignited and inhaled. | ||
| Slip City | Where you go to have a smoke during a quit, just across the tracks from Quitsville | ||
| Social smoker | Person capable of smoking only occasionally without fear of addiction, who should be shot on sight. Syn: casual smoker. | ||
| St. Nick | 1) Lovable elf who brings presents to all good quit-girls and quit-boys; 2) Nicodemon after exorcism and sanctification. | ||
| Suffering Bastard | 1) A newbie; 2) spouse or spousal equivalent of a newbie; 3) remedy for being either a newbie or the spouse of a newbie [1 oz gin, 1 oz vodka, 1/2 oz lime juice, 1 dash bitters, 1 oz ginger ale, ice] | ||
| Suppport | The "support with an extra p" found only at the quitnet. | ||
| Swat | The act of putting an undesirable character on a "swat list" | ||
| Swat list | People who are barred from sending you messages or communicating with you in chat. | ||
| Thanks | Word heard more often at Quitnet than any other place on earth, and rightly so. | ||
| Unquit | Poor souls trapped in the never-land between smoking and quitting; seen wandering aimlessly, suffering guilt and withdrawal symptoms at the same time. | ||
| Virtual cigarette | Any of a number of brands (e.g. Virtual 100's®) that have only a pleasing temporary odor, no harmful side effects, but all the desirable qualities of cigarettes. See cybercig, in your dreams. | ||
| Wearing the Silly Hat | The act of celebrating 100 days of quit. | ||
| Wearing the Silly Hat (other clothing optional) while flying a kite | The act of celebrating 200 days of quit. | ||
| Wellbutrin | Zyban that the insurance companies will pay for. | ||
| Withdrawl | In possession of a southern accent. | ||
| Withdrawal | Symptom of recovery from a chemical addiction. | ||
| XOXO | Hugs and kisses. Spellings vary, but always include X and O. | ||
| You go, girl | Exhortation of female quitster to continue in her efforts at The Quit. | ||
| Zyban moment | Short-term absent-mindedness blamed on zyban, but frequently experienced by non-zyban users, as well (see CRS Syndrome) | ||
| Zyban shuffle | Dance performed under the influence of zyban | ||
| Zyban | Antidepressant discovered to reduce nicotine cravings. | ||
