Wednesday, April 23, 2008
on their way to...
geekdom? princess land? What an amazing life these girls lead. First they are trying to flocculate colloidal gold particles using simple table salt, then they are spinning around in new dresses from Mom Mom.
Yesterday I didn’t know whether I was the best mom in the world or the worst. Lauren has been staying all day at school on Tuesdays (9-3:30) to get her ready for Kindergarten. The school called me mid-morning to ask if I would be the lunch helper as an emergency replacement. Sure, no problem. I should have remembered that Lauren is fine at school until I show up. Soon after she finished her lunch the crying began (“Mommy, can I just hold your hand and help you?” “Mommy, I’m tired” “Mommy, I want to go home”) Ugh. Don’t worry, I know she wasn’t really tired (although she is getting a little cold) but I also know that she really doesn’t need to stay all afternoon and I also know that I miss her in the afternoons (don’t worry, I don’t tell her this -- I know better than to put that kind of guilt on her) SO off we were after lunch for home.
So am I the worse mom or the best? The best because Lauren does want to be with me and enjoys coming home, the worst because I give in to her desires and cries. The worst because I give in and the best because I can. In the end I am glad that I can bring her home and that I have that space in my life. I am not ready for her to be gone ALL DAY next year and I will miss her. I am excited about summer and hanging out with my kids, at least for the first month or so.
But she will start kindergarten, Sabrina will go to school every morning for 2 1/2 hours and I will be teaching at Penn State. The course will be either Water and Wastewater (a repeat course for me) or Introduction to environmental engineering. I am excited about getting back to it! Depending on the course I will work approximately 15 hours a week including grading, office hours, etc. I was very confident that this year I was meant to stay home and I had lots of faith that God would bring the right opportunity to me for the Fall. And, as my mom says, it fell in my lap. Awesome.
