My Journey
(so far)
Testimony to be Given to Connecticut Judiciary Committee
Friday, February 23, 2007
Chairmans Lawlor and McDonald and the Connecticut Judiciary Committee:
I am a citizen of this state, and I am citizen of this country. Like any other citizen I have been held responsible and I
Looking Back
Wednesday, November 1, 2006
It’s the first of November and am looking forward to a new year. Hopefully this one will be better than the last, although 2006 is ending in a much more positive way than it started.
I just re-
Prejudice and Intolerance
Friday, September 1, 2006
Several individuals at the club/restaurant that I hang at have a problem with me. I am sure it deals with the dressing. Chances are they have sexual issues themselves. I must say that it has been
Writings To A Friend
Friday, July 21, 2006
I have a friend who I met when Rene’ first ventured out. She has suffered ADD and depression all her life. We write each other occasionally and share our thoughts on our lives. Following are my
I’m doing amazingly well-Thank you for asking!
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
So much has happened to me since my last entry. Probably the most important is that the clinical depression is gone and I am off of anti-depressants. Its been almost 2 months now. I didn’t want
Real Art Ways and Triangles
Sunday, April 23, 2006
On Thursday of this week, I went to the monthly cocktail party at Real Art Ways in Hartford ( http://www.realartways.org/ ). Was a very nice time and I feel I am passing better than ever. A
This is Me
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Just about 18 months since I first ventured out. In December 2005, after a year of evaluations, I receive the official diagnosis of transsexualism-weird!. I have never been so busy and it seems
Opening Doors
August-November 2004
I finally seek professional help. I see a specialist in the area of transsexualism. She also specializes in relationships where one of the partners is transsexual. K comes with me, but just
Rene’ Begins Her Adventure
August 2004
Well I certainly take to being Rene’ quickly. I bought a wig, posted pictures on the net, dressed at a cTView meeting which is a support group for transgendered persons, met two girls, Kyra and
Is This Me?
July 2004
All alone in a hotel room and thinking about the steps to take. First I have to make sure this is right for me. I have to try and see what it is to live in a female role and wether or not it fits
A Time to Take Inventory
April 2004
I look at my life and realize that with all I’ve done and things I’ve tried, my life has little value to me. For years I’ve thought about suicide the way men think about sex. I’m getting to
Bankruptcy and Tougher Times
June 2003
Me and 2 business associates start a new business. One of my partners dies and the other can’t take the stress and has a breakdown. The company fails. As a result of personal guarantees, K and I
Feeling Creative
June 2001-2003
A friend of my son encourages me to start playing guitar again. I had always played a little but in June I decide to get serious. I start writing songs again. My first song is about depression
Brain Storm
1997-2001
I think its Tom Wolfe that describes depression as a storm in the brain. It is the way things feel in my head. I have no idea what has brought the depression on but its the worst I’ve ever
Calm Before the Storm
1991-1997
It gets pretty tough at the start of the new business but eventually things get better. Our income soars but little is saved. The business requires a lot of travel so I’m not home much. Things
The Changing Years
Spring 1987-1991
So we move to Connecticut because my employer’s (Enron btw) business is sold. We start a new business with business associates that starts off well but will end up badly. Our equity partner is
The First Ten Years
November 1978 -1987
Life is great. My wedding was one of the happiest times for me. Can’t remember ever being that happy. We both have great jobs. We buy a house in the country, have two children, a boy and a girl-
The Better Years
Spring 1973-November 1978
Finally meet a girl I like. But does she like me? I can’t tell-but I do care if she does. I start to feel much better about myself-normal. I find out she’s 5 years younger than me and question
Dark Days
August 1970-Spring 1973
Guess I was just there for her amusement. The cute little blonde dumps me when her boyfriend returns from the Navy. Back into depression that will last a few years. Get a new job, do volunteering
Rhinelander, WI
April 1970-August 1970
We did ok at the races. We make it to the finals after 2 weeks of racing. We are in the lead when we have an engine fail. Oh well, that’s racing.
The partying in Rhinelander was great. We take
Snowmobile Racing
Winter 1969-1970
I’m now the crew chief of a snowmobile racing team. A van, 2 snowmobiles, a $100 per weekend job and all expenses paid. Does it get any better? We party so much we usually have hang overs the
The Rest of High School
1965-1968
Just can’t get into it at all. I learn how to keep up my grades just high enough and maintain a B average. I love science and actually win the high school Science Fair. I also get first grants
My Sports Career Ends
Later in 1965
My father comes to me one evening and says that with my three sisters going to college I would have to pay my own way when it is my turn to go to college. He suggests that I start to go to work
Playing Sports in High School
1965
I am playing freshman football. I have no reason why except that its expected of me. However, I find that I like it better than baseball. I play safety and am pretty good at it. The varsity
Puberty and Liking Girls
Circa 1964
Well thank god I’m normal….almost. Girls turn me on and I see them in a sexual context. However, I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be one of them. I find that I’m quite shy around girls
Dressing and Wanting to be a Female
1956-1962
What is wrong with me? Why do I like wearing female clothes? Why do I have dreams about being a girl? Life sucks! At least I’m not homosexual-I don’t like guys. Yuck, what a terrible thought to
Playing Sports
Circa 1961
Well I’ve learned to throw well and can hit the ball a mile sometimes. I have a strong arm so I play third base cause I can make the throw to first base. I could be a better fielder though.
Starting to play sports
Circa 1958
Kids laugh at me because I’m the smallest kid in class-also the youngest and not very good in sports. I get beaten up all the time but never back down.
I throw and run like a girl I’m told.
Well, for those of you who got to this point, you will now learn a little more about who I am. This is more than a blog-its my life’s journal concentrating on the road to self acceptance. I am not proud of who I am, but I’m not ashamed. I only regret that I was not strong enough to deal with these issues earlier in my life when I would not have impacted so many lives.
