It has often been said that food is what keeps us alive. I couldn’t agree more. Just the other day, I ate some food, and after that I felt rejuvenated, energized, and full of vim and vigor. Now, does that prove it was the food that made me feel good? From a scientific perspective, no. After all, when it comes to science, it’s important to be skeptical. Especially when you’re not a scientist, and don’t understand much about how nature or technology works.

 

But back to food. The super cool food all the Hollywood Hot Trotters are feasting on is pork. Why? Because Pork has depth and subtlety – two things many celebrities lack.

 

One of the best parties I’ve attended this year was a suckling pig feast at George Clooney’s secret bunker in San Gabriel Valley. If you know anything about Clooney, you know he loves grilling as much as he loves practical jokes.

 

 

Speaking of pigs, that’s exactly what Clooney sounded like when he saw his art collection burning  – a suckling pig getting brained with a firepoker.

 

Speaking of fire, my favorite insane pentecostal rock and roller, Jerry Lee Lewis, was there, too, and he ended up shooting Clooney’s entire security team, then stealing Clooney’s Aston Martin, driving it to a Quickie Mart, stealing nine quarts of whiskey from the Quickie Mart, then shooting a bunch of police officers. Eventually he came back and had sex with the women from Lake Como. Then, finally, he shot Clooney.

 

So, enjoy pork. It’s the only meat to serve...when you’re serving meat.