Oh crap.  In early May on this blog, I wrote a piece about how rather than removing a detrimental ingredient, like sugar, from products, corporations simply re-brand the ingredient as harmless to lull the public back into being obedient consumers.  Sugar, for instance, became organic evaporated cane juice.

In this piece, I (sarcastically) suggested that high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) undergo such a campaign, perhaps reinventing itself as kinder, gentler fructose-infused zea mays nectar.  HFCS has undergone such bad press.  Rather than admit to the public that this stuff is toxic, I suggested, why not repackage it and see if you can fool them all over again? 

It seems someone was listening.  NPR’s show Marketplace reports that corn syrup producers are trying to, er, sweeten the image of HFCS, to encourage the public to believe that this sweetener may not be so bad after all.   The campaign hasn’t adopted “fructose-infused zea mays nectar” (yet) but they are calling their campaign Sweet Surprise, which is nearly as creepy. 

I feel sick.  Not because I think I gave them the idea (they would surely have adopted the name!), although I did whimper, “I didn’t mean it!” when I first saw this online.  I feel sick because I really didn’t quite think it would happen.  The evidence against HFCS is pretty significant.  It takes a lot of chutzpah to justify telling the public that HFCS is okay. 

Is the desire to make money and keep things cheap really so strong?  Apparently the answer is yes.  In the face of evidence about obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, poor school performance, and other things associated with HFCS, this is simply marketing a false sense of security to lull people away from remembering HFCS isn’t good for them.  It’s grossly unethical, if unsurprising.

So, I visited the Sweet Surprise website.  It has pictures of corn and of smiling, healthy children.  There aren’t any kittens, puppies, or balloons on the pages I looked at, but then again I didn’t scour the whole site.  You can take a quiz that purports to teach you about sweeteners, especially HFCS, and you can elect to get “sweet smart” about sweeteners.  Here are some highlights.

First, here is their logo and website header:

Then, we get drawn into the “Sweet-Smarts Quiz.”  This particular question stood out to me:

This question was also a gem:

Cue the smiling, non-obese children!

This section is meant to tell us how good HFCS tastes, how it “promotes freshness” and allows us to taste other flavors.  I call bull both on this (have you ever found a product with HFCS that actually tasted good?) AND on the intention of this paragraph.  You’re not even supposed to read the words, you’re supposed to look at the healthy-weight, smiling, diverse children and believe that your children too can look like that -- if only you give them high fructose corn syrup.

Note, the children in that picture aren’t actually eating the popsicles.  Maybe they’re too smart.  Not “sweet smart” or deceived by the HFCS industry.  No, smart enough to stay away.

Good News Alert!  In much better sweetener news, the State of Florida has purchased 187,000 acres devoted to sugar production north of Everglades Park, effectively putting the company United States Sugar out of business, and restoring water flow and water storage in the Everglades by nearly three hundred square miles.  Less sugar.  Environmental restoration.  Not bad.