There’s something so dispiriting about all the wedding gowns you see in thrift stores. They are now divorced dresses. Can’t we all just get along?
Here’s some advice from the introduction to Happy Living! A Guidebook for Brides, published by American Bride Publications in 1970:
“The beauty of your wedding day can last a lifetime if you are as anxious to be a good homemaker as you are to be a lovely bride.”
Presumably, all of those divorcées who donated wedding gowns to all of those thrift stores were rotten homemakers.
Uh-oh! Better read Happy Living! more closely: it’s full of house cleaning and cooking tips.
The photo of the wedding gown above was found in the same pile as The Most Hideous Outfit Of All Time featured way back in Issue One. We hope the young lady who eventually wore it down the aisle learned how to be a good homemaker! For her sake, not ours — we’d love to find this get-up!
When you’re looking for wedding gowns in an actual thrift store, they’re sometimes hard to see, because their color is often the same as the walls and the fluorescence.
They hang limply, like Ghosts of Lost Love, and wail a forlorn entreaty: Consider carefully before you marry the bum!
Turquoise walls are a big aid in spotting these sadly bedraggled relicts.
This lovely bride is nectar for butterflies, and looks forward to a bright future of homemaking.
Page Thirteen, Issue Nine
Wedding Gowns
