When I think of hair nets, I think of snarling old women in high school cafeterias, ladling out giant glops of slop onto plate after plate as their ankles swell over the sides of their black Enna Jettick shoes and those once white uniforms get greasier and greener.
Where did they get all that human hair for the nets those crones used to tame their permed tresses? Dead cafeteria workers?
Health inspectors insist that food workers wear hair nets. But do these devices really prevent hair from ending up in the soup? Probably not. And there’s just something so flattening about shoving your crowning glory into a cage.
Hair nets don’t only effect women, of course. They make long-haired men look even sillier than that ponytail did in the first place.
You’d never catch this guy in a hair net! Or a ponytail!
She thinks he’s cute.
Hair nets may have uses, but turning you into a glamour puss like the gal on this label isn’t one of them!
Page Nine, Issue One
Hair Nets
