Team Texas Chainsaw Massacre went to Canada to compete for the prize in Banff Lake Louise this past weekend and it was crazy, and at sometimes surreal, from the start. The ice sculpting competititon consisted of 15 blocks of ice, to be sculpted between two members in no more than 34 hours. The team consists of Buddy Rassmusen of Artisan Wood in San Antonio & The Reverend Butter from the DLG Ice Factory fame in Houston, TX.

Immigration wouldn’t let Buddy through for some odd reason so there was a chance I would be a one-man team. Using his Jedi-Mind-Tricks, Buddy was not the iceman they were looking for. So they let him go and we started our mission to take over Banff with Texas flavor and an eye on the Prize. This year was the “ YEAR OF THE CAT “ oddly enough there were 4 out of the 9 pieces were cougars.

DAY 1

We busted Ass all day in -25 degree weather. from 8 am to 10 pm with breaks to eat and take shots of whiskey for warmth. You don’t know its really dangerously cold till your extension cord snaps in half or your chainsaw freezes up because the air its sucking in to the intake is too cold. Or how about this. the snow that falls on your face becomes moist with your hot breathe and immediately freezes over and gets longer till you look like Billy Gibbons snow double. We survived the first day but I hear its gonna be even colder to morrow. all we got done is a big rock and 2 doves that people called ravens. Time to meditate (aka drink profusely)

DAY 2

We busted ass that morning, kinda. Buddy got up at 6 am and was doing cartwheels and being hyper, ready to penetrate some ice. I was still in bed trying to squeeze an extra hour of sleep. I don’t know if you’ve heard of this place, but the Fairmont Chateau Lake Louise is a pimpy spot. 2 hours away from Calgary, Alberta Canada. People from all over the world come here to forget about home.

At $600-800 a night stay, you know they do it up with the kind of pillows and sheets that you don’t have back home.

Buddy was gone by 7 am and I got up, showered, geared up for the snow and as i was getting dressed, I turned on the TV and Lo & Behold, There was a Dixie Chicks music video marathon. I watched the whole thing. It made me want to wear wranglers (again). when that was over, I realized it was already 9:20 am. SHIT! I’m an hour and 20 minutes late. DAMN DIXIE CHICKS!

I head outside and nine teams are busting ass and I notice that its no longer -15 degrees outside, its -25. F*@K its cold. I don’t think Buddy noticed me being late, he was in the zone trying to finish the cougar torso while I worked on more doves.  There was a speed carving competition in the afternoon and Buddy aka RED BEARD, participated. Not only did he participate, but he WON IT! His 1 block, 1 hour piece was a husky puppy in a snow boot. The funny thing about it was the judges thought it was a pig in a boot. With a thousand dollar check in hand, Buddy said you can call it whatever the F&$K you like. Now back to our 15 block piece.

While Buddy was off doing the speed competition, I was meeting and greeting a busload of over 60 Texans from Dallas who happened to see our flag and rushed over to give support and ask a million questions, literally. WHERE DO YOU GET ICE IN TEXAS? WHY ARE YOU HERE? YOU GONNA FINISH DEM BIRDS? THAT COUGAR AIN’T GOT NO HEAD ON IT. WHERE’S HIS ARMS?

As soon as Buddy got back and saw I had only 1 bird done in the 2 hours he was gone, (and it broke when I was finishing the wing) he suggested we regroup back at the chateau and discuss the next step. Alright, we had some drinks and shots to celebrate his pig/ fox in boot sculpture. Now it’s 6 pm and we have 4 hours left in the day. I finished 4 more birds and Buddy did a great Cougar head. He took his time with it and when it was done, I think I heard it growl. 10 pm done and at the bar until they kick us out at 2:30 am.

DAY 3

We wake up for our last day of sculpting. We have to be done by 2 pm for judging. Everything is coming together till my chainsaw freezes up and i didn’t bring a back up. Then my cord snaps in half while its still plugged in. Sparks are flying everywhere and Buddy is yelling at me. I run over to see what he needs and he’s just pointing at the ground. The Cougars head just fell off and dropped about 7 feet to the ground. SHIT! We’re done. Over. It’s too late in the game to sculpt another head, let alone a great one like that. I pick it up from the ground expecting to see a busted mouth or missing teeth but no. Nothing. It was perfectly in tact and Buddy just finished it. The Ice Gods were on our side and I yelled we did not come here to lose. It was a sign and we got that head back on the the torso. Buddy disappeared for about 20 minutes. I think he was a little shook’en up about what just happened. He got back and we worked until 2pm when the judges yelled,” chainsaw’s down! “

After that, I felt like a boxer out of the ring after a fight. Very tired, drained and ready to go to bed. We still had the award ceremony to go to and its mandatory to go. I mean, you want to know who won, right? Third place went to Rusty Cox and crew for their dinasuar.

Second place went to Dean, Chan and David for their sculpture of a cougar and a Bison. and then they announced first place. TEAM TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE! OH SHIT!!! People went crazy. The bus load full of Texans got up and cheered. I ripped out a 4’x6’ Texas flag from inside my jacket (just in case) and waved it around like I was Rocky Balboa or Hacksaw Jim Duggen. It was AWESOME!

I’ve been there 3 times and Buddy was there 8 times before ever winning first place. What a way to finish the weekend. We also received Carver’s Choice which meant so much to me because my peers thought we were on top of our game and that meant a lot to us. Thanks to all of my ice comrades, may I see you again soon. Micaela, Tracy, Diane & Reality for making us feel at home. I’m looking forward to coming back. Until then, Team Texas Chainsaw Massacre will be in Fairbanks, Alaska sculpting at the World Ice Art Championships from Feb. 26- March 8 this year representing the Lone Star State. Wish us the best of luck. Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts.

The only thing that could have made it a better weekend would be a Dixie Chick all day video marathon, I guess you can’t have it all.

or can you? Enjoy the pics below.

Reverend Butter