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I think I started out well yesterday in some respects. God reminded me on the hour through the day, even without my watch beeping, and I was truly amazed at how at exactly 11 past the hour, I would be prompted to look at my watch and pray. All in all, though, I would classify yesterday’s experiment a complete failure.
I found, quite honestly, that my prayers were hollow. I found myself muttering cursory “and please help me to” prayers while I cooked, chatted, and cleaned. I realize that I put faith in the ferry taking me across the water, and forgot about the current of the Holy Spirit. Does that make any sense? I was depending on the fact that I was going to ‘pray’ every hour to bring me closer to God, when instead I should have been still, waiting for the space that I had left open in my hour for God to be filled by him.
Now that I write that, I feel so childish. I left time open for God! It should all be open for him! But, truly, this is my intent: that I would become aware of God every minute of the day, and that I would participate in an ever-flowing current of conversation with him as I move about my day. Like a two-level life, each level being lived at the same time, and the first (continuous conversation with God) determining the events of the second.
This fixed-hour prayer method, I am hoping, will be the catalyst to the deep desire of walking and talking, listening and living, being and doing, all under the complete infusion of God. That the few minutes of making space for God will spill over into the rest of the minutes of the hour, making it a day full of Him.
Here’s hoping for a better second day. Today I am going to try taking myself out of the equation when my watch rings, to go and spend some time physically apart with, and listening to God.