CHAPTER 1

Is This Book for You?


Never give a sword to a man who can’t dance.

Celtic motto




This book is for non-dancers, newbies and beginners. If you fear dance or hate to dance, I can help. I’m a survivor.


As someone who used to freak out at the thought of dancing, and finished countless dance classes more confused than when I started, this is the book I needed before stepping onto the floor, as well as to guide me through the first year. While women will find plenty in here to take away, more importantly, this book is written for men, especially untalented, rhythmically challenged, male dancers. We have been ignored and we need help.


The aim in Every Man’s Survival Guide to Ballroom Dancing is not so much to learn salsa or waltz or jitterbug––you should take lessons for specific dances you want to learn well. Part guerrilla manual and part cotillion handbook, this path is simpler and more practical: to learn the basic principals common to all music and dance, enabling you to walk on to any dance floor, from a nightclub, to a wedding, to a cruise, to a New Year’s Eve ball, and to perform an admirable dance, with any partner, to any music, with confidence and grace.









I speak from experience: many times I have frozen rigor-mortis-stiff at the edge of a dance floor. I stood in fear not only that I would request a dance and be rejected; but that my request would be accepted and I would be revealed to be a dance-fraud and a buffoon, and they would tattoo the big “L” (loser) on my forehead.


Occasionally, I still have trepidations and self-doubt, but now I know the protocol and can keep my cool––and dance comfortably with anyone, anywhere, to any music, under the most adverse conditions imaginable. So can you.





























Copyright 2006, 2007 ihatetodance.com

All rights reserved.




ihatetodance.com


Every Man’s Survival Guide to Ballroom Dancing

How to Fake a Dance  If you’re in a rush what you need is a quick course in how to fake ballroom dancing. Having wished for that course a million times myself, I tackle it in Chapter 22, “14 Tips for Surviving a Dance”.

Table of Contents

Table of Contents


PART 1 - Intro

  1. 1.Is This Book For You?

  2. 2.10 Tips to Fred Astairedom


PART 2 - Music

  1. 3.The Beat of the Music

  2. 4.Counting Music:  Finding the Sets of 8

  3. 5.Downbeat and Upbeat


PART 3 - Rhythms

  1. 6.Dance Rhythms and Rhythm Patterns

  2. 7.Common Rhythm Patterns

  3. 8.Marking Rhythms

  4. 9.Counting Step Patterns


PART 4 - Dancing

  1. 10.Posture and Frame

  2. 11.Positions

  3. 12.Movement and Timing

  4. 13.Lead and Follow

  5. 14.Step Patterns

  6. 15.Styling


PART 5 – The Dances

  1. 16.Latin

  2. 17.Swing

  3. 18.Ballroom

  4. 19.Country & Western


Part 6 - Survival

  1. 20.Slow Dancing

  2. 21.Survival Dancing

  3. 22.14 Tips for Surviving a Dance

  4. 23.Surviving The Wedding Dance



“How I Became Popular Overnight”


“How I Became Popular Overnight” is the headline Arthur Murray ran in the 1920s for a successful ad he placed in a national magazine and the New York Times Book Section. For men, popularity through dance works because, unquestionably, women dig guys that can dance—and most men can’t dance. How can you be hip and happening, a Renaissance man, if you hide in the corner when they play a waltz? Dancing can transform a loser into a winner.

The Original Speed Dating


At its core, partner dancing is a mating ritual and many people pursue dance just to get dates. In recent years, swing and salsa classes have overflowed with singles looking to hook-up. The ability to dance has always been a good way to attract attention from the opposite sex and dancing is a good way to quickly meet a lot of ladies with little commitment. After all, the average song is just three minutes long.


Socially awkward? Don’t have the gift of gab? No problem, once again, dance to the rescue. Dance is a ploy to say hello with a mandatory script: “Hi, would you like to dance?” Not that forward? A dance class that regularly rotates partners will put six, eight or 10 ladies in your hands in an hour with no effort and risk free.