An Apology: Trying to Light a Candle

An Apology: Trying to Light a Candle

Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

My college newspaper days taught me how to revel in scrutiny and suspicion. It was the Rolling Stone politic: point-and-poke, point-and-poke, identify-and-criticize. Turn over every stone looking for toads and you’ll find plenty.

There is plenty to criticize in the PCUSA; it has become a very very easy target. It’s an easy job, but somebody’s got to do it. What is really hard is saying something good and true without it sounding hackneyed, clichéd, or sentimental.

I’d like to say I’m getting tired of cursing the darkness, but I’m not. I feel deep indignation over bureaucratically-induced injustices and delight in deflating denominational stuffed shirts. Exposing hypocrisies and yanking chairs from behind the swollen self-importance of Scribes and Pharisees needs to be done in every organization, and those that do feel aligned with the Jesus who so freely criticized the self-righteous leaders of the Temple.

Criticism is just so much easier than praise. If we took President Washington’s advice (overlooking posthumous attribution, of course) we would say something nice or say nothing at all. But then what would our blogs be? Would they devolve into elegant ephemera--sweet nothings whispered around the elephant in the kitchen? We already have those publications, most of them emblazoned with the PCUSA seal. Our problem is with those who think the PCUSA itself is the light, as though criticism of the institutional church somehow offends the Body of Christ. Begging pardon, our denominations have managed to offend Christ without our personal help just fine, thank you.

It can’t be avoided; the denomination must be called to account for its shortcomings. We hear: So just who do you think you are to do the criticizing? No one, really, but we just can’t not keep calling ‘em as we see ‘em. Call me an addict, but this is what I must do.

I’m up by 5am most mornings. I read a few chapters of the Bible and write a daily prayer. Sometimes when I am reading I feel swept up by an idea--usually one associated with the text--and my mind is suddenly swimming the current in a sea of blog-fodder. I write fast. 10-minutes later I hit either the send or the publish button. I have email comments waiting for me by the time I arrive at the church office.

I am a nice person; I want to write nice things. I believe in peace, love and understanding; I prefer harmony over conflict. I like when we agree about things and can anguish over stray sheep (especially the intellectually-stray). I don’t think my rightness is rightness at all, but do see that there is a difference between loving the Jesus Christ revealed in scripture and disrespecting him by intention or implication. He does not need my defense, but I need to defend the faith that was handed to me.

I want to be an affirmer of what is right, true and good in the PCUSA as well as beyond, but it isn’t an easy change--my swing is grooved and my reputation as a curmudgeon untarnished. To catch the Church doing things right and praising God when it happens is better work and we need more people doing it honestly (all while refusing to condone the pervasive denial of our denominational sins).

Bottom line: the denomination is preserved one congregation at a time. Our best efforts and greatest successes all take place there--not in cyberspace or in print. I believe that authentic heroism looks terribly, terribly ordinary and dull at the surface. It is an alcoholic walking past his favorite bar without stopping, a wife holding her tongue when her husband deserved a good lashing, a quiet visit to the nursing home, a popularlity-starved jr. high girl just saying no, a quiet apology among friends, a gentle prayer for one’s enemies, a laugh instead of a rebuke.

The infinite mercies of God are not--indeed, cannot--be played out by denominations, only by real people working out their very real issues in loving community as they depend and wait upon God’s grace and power. In our local congregations--some of the finest of which can be found in the PCUSA--God is at work moving people’s hearts to faith, hope, love and heartfelt praise in spite of our best ideas and programs. If He had no sense of humor, he would have had us shriveled up long ago. Clearly, He has other things in store for us. . .

. . .one congregation at a time.