Gender Identity

“If you spend your whole time trying to be someone else, who’s going to be YOU?”

ABEO wants to encourage people to know who they are as fully as possible and to be able to identify themselves to the World, according to their own convictions: as a whole person. We support the right to personal choice in terms of identity and for the right of all people to live their lives as they choose free of persecution.

Sexuality is something that is one aspect of who we are as a person. We at ABEO believe that the expression of our sexuality is something that is most fully enjoyed within the intimacy we have with a life partner. It is something that is to be enjoyed responsibly with freedom and joy - safely. How we choose to express our sexuality is something that must be done with gentleness and respect for ourselves and for the people who we choose to engage with sexually.

ABEO supports each individual’s right to self-determination and to how they choose to identify themselves. We believe that no person should be discriminated against because of his or her gender, age, race, faith or sexuality. Although some of these aspects of personhood are chosen, there is no excuse to discriminate or persecute because those aspects contain an element of conscious decision, compared to those that are immutable. What we’re saying here is that just because someone is for example, a Christian, Muslim or Jew (containing an element of choice) they are no less to be protected against discrimination than an Irish man or pensioner (no element of choice).

In society the idea that a person is represented to the world largely by their sexuality is a modern idea. Our sexuality is not all that we are; it is only a part of us. Some individuals choose to identify themselves as ‘gay’ and we at ABEO support them in their right to do so and to be able to do so in the absence of persecution.

At ABEO we believe that sexuality is fluid: not unchanging or immutable. Our sexuality is an adaptation to meet core needs that exist in each of us and should be seen as dynamic and changeable. It is however not a simple matter of choice. Sexuality results from a complex interaction between our genes and our environment; a process that is not fully understood at this point in time.

Terminology around sexuality is at times a challenge. In research carried out by pro-gay groups they refer to same sex attracted (SSA) young men and we follow that lead, so as to be as inclusive as possible.

In some individuals who experience conflict between experiencing same sex attraction and other aspects of their identity we believe that other adaptations are available to meet those core needs and ABEO supports those who want to move away from unwanted same sex attraction (SSA). We specialise in working with unwanted male SSA and offer sexual reorientation coaching and counselling.

Where a person experiences unwanted SSA we can provide expertise and therapy to help the person meet their core unmet needs in a way that allows them to resolve their SSA and so move towards a fuller expression of masculinity and a heterosexual expression of that gender identity.

We will only work with individuals who wish to deal with unwanted SSA; who come of their own free-will, without coercion and we believe that gender affirming therapy should be offered in these cases. Individuals who are happy and contented to be gay and who wish to express their sexuality as a gay person have every right to gay affirmation therapies and to live as a gay-identified individual. ABEO believes that there should be equality in this therapeutic area with both options being available to people. We are pro-choice. We in ABEO are specifically focussing on gender affirming therapies, as there is currently a therapeutic gap in this area.

All referrals and inquiries are treated confidentially.

ABEO also provides training to those professionals working in the area of unwanted SSA. Through links with NARTH, JONAH, the International Healing Foundation and a number of international experts we are seeking to spread evidence based skills that will help professionals working in this area.

Sexuality & Gender Identity

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