I hate Ben Johnson.

 

For the benefit of younger or international readers, I will explain why; Ben Johnson won the mens 100m at the Olympics back in the 80’s. Ben Johnson was subsequently found to not be a winner but a doper.  The Canadian public freaked out instantly creating a wildly hostile environment for elite sport; Winning was demonized and the pursuit of excellence abandoned in favor of participation and fun sport for all.

 

While I support and completely resonate with the pursuit of an active heathy population, the Olympics should not be/is not about participation.  The Olympics is about winning medals, the Olympics is about bringing home the bacon.   The biggest hinderance to the Canadian athletes (at time of writing Canada is medal-less in Beijing) elite performance is a nation, media and athletes okay with “a personal best” or “canadian record.”  

 

I think that this attitude is both destructive and disingenuous; I race my kayak to win.  If I didn’t care about measuring my performance and testing my skill against others I would stay at home.  I would go to the park and play freebee with my dog.  I would eat more pizza and drink more beer.  Racing and the tension it creates gives my training structure and meaning. I think it is this attitude, more so than a lack of funding as some athletes have recently claimed, that is holding Canada back.  We can achieve more and should be held accountable to do so.

 

--- (I started to write this entry almost a week ago.  So if it seems as though it has a disjointed time-line or the dates don’t match up, that is why.) ---  

 

I am recently back from Canadian National Championships where I placed 3rd.  My proudest moment of the weekend was not standing on the podium but fighting off the the glimpse of satisfaction (disillusionment) my medal almost created.  Holding yourself to a standard of world-class performance isn’t easy- most of the time (or at least at the beginning) you won’t measure up.  My performance all weekend was lackluster by this standard.

 

I only hope I can hold this perspective and newfound fire thought my next year of paddling.

See you on the water kids.