Doug and I went out to dinner last night in Oakland to a wonderful new restaurant. We left the restaurant after a delicious dinner, and I could not get a comment out of my mind that a friend of mine had told me. She and her husband have been trying to get pregnant. Her Doctor said to her, “You have lost trust in your body.”
I could not get the comment out of my mind, and in fact I could not sleep very well last night as the comment kept rolling through my mind and thoughts kept coming to me. I wondered if I had lost trust in my body. And, I wondered if any of you reading this have lost trust in your body. I even woke up in the middle of the night and again my mind went to that thought and I began to take note of what I would write in my blog today in regards to trusting the body. I wish now that I had gotten up then...the words seem to flow better last night; I am a bit tired from lack of sleep. And if you know me well, you know I need my sleep! Well...here it goes anyway.
I was wondering if and where I had lost trust in my body. Four or five months back I tripped and sprained my ankle, and all I could think about was not Hooping. I was addicted to it and now my doctor had told me that I needed to lay off the ankle.
For those of you not familiar with hooping, let me give you some back ground. Remember the Hula Hoop that you did as a kid? Well it is back with a vengeance; a larger, heavier hoop that we throw around our waists dancing and doing tricks.
Anyway, before I digress too much into hooping cause I really love it, let me get back to my story. As I said, I was told to lay off the ankle. I got so focused on my injury telling everyone that I tripped and my hoop practice was on hold. My focus was on my injured ankle, and if you read my blog two days ago, you would understand how I feel about the Law of Attraction. Well guess what happened? You got it; I tripped not only on my injured ankle TWICE, but on my healthy ankle, which thankfully did not get injured.
I was focusing on my ankle...babying it. I realized that I was not trusting my body, not trusting that it would heal quickly because I was so upset at not hooping; my one exercise that I absolutely love. And now here I was with this really messed up ankle. I needed to change my frequency; I needed to change my focus. I stopped talking about it. I stopped focusing on it. I trusted that I would heal quickly like I used to when I was a kid. Remember when we thought we were invincible? When we got hurt, we just scuffed it off and moved on? Well that is what I did. I put an ace bandage around my ankle to give it the strength that it lacked and I went on with my days. I took a few extra supplements to aid me and trusted that my body would heal. I imagined that it was already healed. I focused and saw myself hooping again and doing moves that I had not yet perfected. I did not trip anymore. My ankle did heal. I am hooping again.
Now, a pregnancy is a bit more of a delicate situation. There was a time in my life where I thought that I wanted to have children, but I decided it was not for me so I never went through the angst that some women go through when they are trying to become pregnant. So I can not put myself in any woman’s position or state of mind who wants to have children, nor do I pretend that I can. But thoughts and questions do come to my mind. Is a woman who wants to become a mother focusing on the fact that she has not gotten pregnant after trying for so long? Has her disbelief in getting pregnant now become an habitual state of mind? Is she so desperate to get pregnant that she is really only focusing on the “lack of getting pregnant”? Let me now say that I am talking about a woman who is perfectly capable of getting pregnant, not women who have been told that they can not have a baby no matter what because of some physical or medical condition.
So that being said, Would it be weird to say “fake it till you make it?” What I mean by that is, when I have wanted something so bad, I have been told, “Well if you had this thing that you want so bad, what would your life be like?” For a woman who wanted to be pregnant, she would walk around with this knowing that a “muffin was growing in the oven” so to speak, and if I am correct, her hands would gently caress her belly quite often as she went through her day. She would gaze at babies and children and smile that all-knowing smile, that soon she would be gazing at her own. She would shop the baby stores and plan the baby’s room and what clothing she would buy. She would go through the actions that all women go through when they are expecting. I am not saying that all of the above is going to result in a pregnancy. I am just trying to change the focus of “not having” to “having”. Her focus would be having her baby. Of course one must obviously also be engaging in the “act”. We are not talking of immaculate conception here!
And since were not talking about Immaculate Conception and we are talking about engaging in the “act”, who might the women be engaging in the “act” with? We are not counting the woman who is engaging in the “act” with many men. I am only talking about women who are married and engaging in the “act” with her husband or significant other and trying to have a baby. I am also predisposing that her husband is perfectly healthy and producing the kind of sperm that can fertilize the woman’s egg. I don’t want to be guilty of doing today what was often done in the past - that would be, blaming the woman whenever a couple who wanted a baby could not have one. We might also consider if the couple actually does want to have a baby. Just as when there is artificial insemination involved, it requires equal participation from both partners. I would propose that this would be equally true of the couples when it comes to the mental preparation. So the focus that I talk about in having a baby would have to be practiced both by the wife as well as the husband. I truly believe that if the wife is doing everything including visualizing that she is already pregnant, and the man is not doing his part, this could prevent the woman from getting pregnant. This negative focusing or lack of positive focusing on the man’s part, could in fact be preventing the sperm from doing all that it could do to impregnate the egg.
And let me say again, I have never had the desire to be pregnant so I can not even fathom the frustration that women who want to become mothers go through. I am only speaking out loud my thoughts, and expressing a different way of thinking. If I were in the situation of trying to become a mother, I might have written something totally different in my blog. But because I am not, this is what it is. I’m sure that those of you reading this have your own thoughts - I welcome them.
Lastly, in honor of my trusting my body, I want to give gratitude to to my body:
I am so grateful that my body is a perfectly working machine.
I am so grateful for my beautiful heart that pumps to a perfect beat.
I am so grateful that my veins allow my blood to flow through easily and effortlessly.
I am so grateful that my skin breathes, feels soft, and looks bright and luminous.
I am so grateful for my clean, healthy blood that pumps through my arteries.
I am so grateful that my ankles support me, that my toes balance me.
I am so grateful that my arms can hug and my hands can touch.
I am so grateful that my eyes see clearly and show my expressions.
I am so grateful for my strong legs that walk and run; pillars of support .
I am so grateful for my ears and their ability to hear the smallest of sounds, as well as block out distractions.
I am so grateful for my mouth and it’s ability to speak clearly, to taste and discern my likes and dislikes.
I am so grateful that my body feels different temperatures, feelings and sensations.
I am so grateful for my strong, flat stomach that houses my intuition.
I am so grateful for my intuition that leads me.
I am so grateful for my long, strong, beautiful nails.
I am so grateful for my liver that aids in my digestion and neutralizes harmful substances in my blood.
I am so grateful for my digestive system that perfectly assimilates my food.
I am so grateful for my strong flexible muscles and ligaments.
I am so grateful that my body is easily movable, flexible, and changeable.
I am so grateful that I am always my perfect weight.
I am so grateful that my body knows how to heal itself.
I am so grateful that my body asks for what it needs and I provide it.
I am so grateful that my hair is dark, thick, shiny and healthy.
I am so grateful that my body sheds the old, grows and changes, and progresses and improves on a daily basis.
I am so grateful that my body feels rhythm and moves unabashedly and uninhibited to the beat.
I am so grateful that my body is my temple to house my spirit, my soul.
I am so grateful that I love my body, and my body is able to love.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
