Okay, so I lied.  I said I was going to take a break and work on my paper, and here I am.

I can’t help myself.  On Friday evening, one of my good friends -- a J -- dropped by with a bombshell.    The kind the Magpie can’t wait to blog about.

We’ve been lampooned.  It seems a girl we knew only vaguely* while growing up in Mayberry has taken all our senior portraits and loaded them on Flickr.  And she and her Gen-X friends have proceeded to skewer the lot of us.

The were discreet enough to leave our last names off, but they included our nicknames and our self-described “interests.”  Who knew we were so stupid?  Reading the remarks of strangers about each of us -- based on our appearance and words chosen at age 17 -- reminds me you’d do well to always keep a healthy sense of humor about yourself, especially if your photo has ever been in a yearbook.  Thirty years ago, the best (or worst, I suppose) we could do is lift somebody’s yearbook and write an unauthorized comment by a bad photo.  Today, anybody can scan anything and make it available to the entire world -- snarky comments and all.

And boy were they snarky.  And hilarious.  So Friday night after my friend left, I crawled in bed with my laptop and methodically read every comment made about each photo.  Thirty seconds into it I was laughing so hard I blew snot out of my nose.  At one point, I think I peed my pants. An hour and half later, I was sweating and exhausted from non-stop, can’t-catch-my-breath, this-is-hurting-my-sides laughter.  I hear tell at least one former classmate is outraged by the whole ordeal, which makes it all the funnier.

Disclaimer: The comments under my senior photo, shown above, included “She looks a bit like Scully” (the character “Dana Scully” from the X-Files) and a “Silkwood-era Meryl Streep.”  I know.  I got off easy.  Really easy . . . especially for a girl who once took herself so seriously she insisted on looking pensive in her senior portrait.  I can’t believe they didn’t gut-punch me for that one. By the way, I’d like to think I’ve lightened up since then.  At least I smile in photos now.

But, one of my good friends?  Um, they were not so nice to her.  Her car -- a ‘70s Ford land yacht -- was known to all of us as the “Goot-mobile” and she listed it as an interest.  Let’s just say the Gen-Xers offered several guesses as to what “goot” meant (female anatomy, perhaps?) and what went on with the goot in the mobile.  This is one of those instances where imagination is far more ribald than reality.  “Goot” was the nickname of my friend’s older brother, and since he drove the car before it was passed on to my friend, the name carried over.  Sorry to disappoint you, guys.  Besides, she was a really nice girl whose goot did not get around.

I’ve mentioned the 5 Js before -- my group of girlfriends whose names start with the same initial as mine.  Each of us listed our group as an interest, and the mystery of the 5 Js drove those commenting kids crazy.  Everybody and everything from Jesus to “BJ” was guessed to have been a part of our group. For the record: While his name was invoked a few times, Jesus did not make an appearance in our group to my knowledge.  And “BJ?” We’ll, we would each have to speak for ourselves.  I’ll let Jamie, Johnna, Julie and Janet answer first, because I’m polite that way.  And, in case you’re wondering, we did not choose best friends by virtue of initials, though we were far ahead of our time to so thoroughly brand our serendipitous clique -- a brand that endures today in Mayberry, I might add.

If you want to see the whole set of photos for yourself, mercilessly funny comments and all, just click on the link below.  Warning: some of the commenters use profanity and you should be prepared for a brutally unvarnished look at ‘80s-era yearbook photos.  If you’re one of my former classmates (or the family member of one), leave your ego at the door or don’t go in.  Otherwise, you might end up as hacked off as “Booberly.”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/32336057@N00/sets/72157600029442018/

Users Note: You’ll have to click on each thumbnail photo to see the comments.  Just remember --  these photos were taken in 1980 and we lived in Mayberry.  What do you expect?

1. *Remember the clown photo I posted recently?  It seems the little clown mascot and her younger sister are the source of this Flickr mischief.  I don’t know . . . maybe the whole clown experience freaked them out.  I was 15 when I first donned a costume and face paint.  Perhaps doing it under the age of 10 is not psychologically advisable.