Run, Baby, Run.

There’s a perennial mayoral candidate in Tulsa known as Accountability Burns. A colorful fellow, his entire platform is based on government accountability. Despite his kooky persona, he managed to capture just over one percent of the votes cast in the last election . . . which says to me, people crave accountability even if they despise Ralph Nader.

So to satisfy your craving, dear readers, I’m starting a public log of my running. Just call me Accountability Joan-Marie. I’ve finally come to the realization that I’m fat and I’m out of shape and I’m never going to be anything other than a sadly misshapen middle-aged woman if I don’t start hauling my butt around Mayberry again.

This time last year I was seriously running. (My definition of serious is 20+ miles per week. If this doesn’t meet your definition of serious, I have only two words for you: bug off! I don’t need any hardcore nut jobs ruining my motivation.) Following the tragic death* of my regular running buddy and about 728 other excuses for staying in bed at 5:00 am, I let six months go by with only a couple of breathless jogs to my credit. If I don’t do something now, I’m going to hell in a breadbasket.

So starting today, March 1, 2008, I’m turning over a new leaf. I’m pledging to meet or exceed 20 miles per week and log my results right on this page. I will note whether I walked any of the distance or ran the whole way (and I fully expect to take advantage of the walk/run combo in the first two weeks or more). For now, I’m going to note just the mileage. But if things improve as I hope they will, I might also start noting my times. (For your convenience in checking up on me, I even put a link to this page on the left sidebar of my front page. I’m nothing if not thoughtful, huh?)

In case you’re wondering, I’m no fitness nut. I run for two simple reasons.

One: It’s the least painful form of regular exercise I’ve ever tried (and, lordy, believe me when I tell you I’ve tried them all), and

Two: When I run, I have a waist**. And there’s nothing like a waist to improve the fit of your clothes and put a spring in your step.

It’s really pretty simple math for me. Running 20+ miles per week = all my clothes fit and I don’t even have to starve myself.

So there you have it. A simple formula and a forum for accountability. Runner, take your mark!

Run, Baby, Run.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

*Okay, I’m totally lying about the tragic death of my running partner. Really, she just moved away. But it felt like a tragic death and I used the resulting emotional trauma to justify losing all interest in life. Or running. Something.

** You’re just going to have to trust me on the waist thing because I will never provide photographic evidence. Notice the bloated shins in the photo above? They’re mine. If this running thing works out, I might show you a photo of my knees. But never my waist and never, under any circumstances, my butt.

Magpie’s Weekly

Running Barometer:

I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

Weekly Summary: It was hard, but I hit my goal this week. Now I need to work on increasing my running miles. I dread next week. It’s spring break and all I want to do is have some fun.

Mayberry Magpie’s Running Log

Weekly Summary: Bad week, guys. Two days of snow and a fat body unaccustomed to a 5 am alarm resulted in a 12-mile week. MUST. DO. BETTER!

Weekly Summary: There’s nothing to say except . . . I suck.

Weekly Summary: