MIndy Woodhead
 
 
 
I can not impart the unbridled joy I feel during the most mundane of moments. But when I am driving in traffic, making coffee in a coffee maker, walking through a supermarket, filling a bath tub, sitting on a couch, lying in a bed, when I am not killing sentient beings in a constant ‘me or them’ battle, I am fully aware of the moment, and I am delighted. I keep a poker face, as my enthusiasm can often be an assault on the rational. The aggregate and best part of all these things is that I go completely unnoticed. No one shouts at me (even if only screaming “Hello,” or “Bonjour”–good or bad, shouting is an intrinsically jarring form of address). No one watches me to form opinions of nations. No one picks at my emotional scabs to see if they bleed like the others do. I am completely at home in America and I am loving every second of that sense of belonging. A heightened comfort derived from standing on the precipice of a fully enveloping safety net. I have found the juxtaposition of my optimism in the middle of a rather bitter America to be ironic. As I mentioned, I have kept a poker face so as not to offend the sensible pessimist while I brim with euphoric patriotism. I think I am doing well so far. Only my closest friends know the truth of my joy. I am shielding the rest. I am in a holding pattern in Las Vegas. I have yet to go to a casino, or even to the strip, but the city has a centrifugal force that pulls me in. Moreover a friend is a brilliant engineer/entrepreneur with an automation company specializing in flying anything and everything for theatres the world over. He is renown as the best in the known world for these engineering feats. I have been working for his company since I got here, and I am seduced by the 14-hour days of sheer productivity. I LOVE it. It is the perfect potion to heal my ennui from a year of recreational purgatory. I don’t know how long I will stay in Vegas; maybe a week, maybe a decade. I am playing it by ear. Right now I am on my way to Mexico for the week. Typing while on a layover in Houston. I only found out yesterday that I would be going to Mexico, and left a few hours later. I really like this job.
Implausible Centrifuge
Tuesday, November 4, 2008