Updated 4/7/2008!

BREAKING NEWS! GT-R V-Spec spotted in testing. Experts believe that the GT-R will now be considered a WMD. Pundits debate the timetable of imminent invasion!

- elementpb

The owner would never sell the GT-R. The GT-R would sell the owner.

- haris

The Government is testing a new hypersonic spy plane in the nevada desert...spies have reported seeing a black GTR with cardboard wings...

The 2004 Tsunami was caused when Nissan engineers tried to test fit a 1.8T into the GTRs engine bay. It is hypothesized that had they been successful and actually started it, that it would have ripped an hole in the space-time continuum causing the entire universe to collapse in on itself

The first product of the Manhattan Project was the GT-R. Marveling at its ability to shear the Earth in two, Oppenheimer elected to go with nuclear fission as the safer option.

- Double V

The 1.8T nevar loses. Except to the GT-R.

The GT-R has solved the manual-automatic debate, simply by being released with an automatic.

Scientists are now doubling their efforts to produce a viable renewable fuel, to save the world's fuel reserves for the GT-R's 7 minute Nurburgring runs.

EnzoDude, MoshGirl, SaturnLady, Chain-in-Yo-Ditchez guy, and all the cat photoshops ever made all stand in complete awe and utter unworthiness before the GT-R.

- 1.8 Terbo

According to Japanese legend, if a GT-R does a donut on your lawn, your next child will have unlimited prosperity.

In order to make accurate redings form the GT-R, a dynometer must be recalibrated to Unicorn Power.

Proof of ownership of a GT-R grants diplomatic immunity in 26 countries.

- Talus

When someone in sequel happy Hollywood proposed a sequel to Back to the Future 4, the Delorean was ditched in favor of the GT-R. Mr. Fusion was deemed unnecessary, as the VR38DETT engine can produce the 1.2 Gigawatts needed to power the flux capacitor on its own at idle.

During testing, Nissan Engineers found something odd about the amount of sunlight that Japan was getting during the day, when they drove the car toward mainland Asia and China, sunset occurred earlier. The opposite effect happened when driving in the direction of Alaska.

It was reported that Pfizer Inc, McNEIL-PPC, Inc. and Wyeth Consumer Healthcare used industrial sabotage to stop the development of the GT-R, as in testing it proved to cure the common cold.

The Producers of Too Fast, Too Furious decided on doing a remake of the 1951 film, "The Day the Earth Stood Still", but due to budgetary constraints and lack of thought in story writing, the movie was 24 filmed hours of a single GT-R doing a non-stop burnout at a Los Angeles Wal-Mart.

- KenP

A 2009 Nissan GT-R destroyed IIHS equipment while performing a 140mph frontal offset crash test. The exterior body panels on the GT-R are made of mystic Uru metal, the same material used to make Thor's Hammer.

- DoubleNaught

All owners of FJ Cruisers with stress cracks have admitted that they tried to drive over a GT-R. And it turns out the Tundra owners were just trying to load a GT-R and rested the GT-R on the tailgate for one millisecond.

- Adam Buhr

The GT-R is said to be 10% Toyota...Yeah, it ate a F**kin corolla.

-  Mike Judge

Nissan gathered together the rarest, most beautiful collection of historic race vehicles at their Zama storage facility. Then they melted them all down into the stamping dies for the GT-R's sheetmetal

- Slonie

Examination of Laguna Seca Photos Shows Tow Cable Between GT-R And Pursuing 997 Turbo: "My Fastest Lap Ever" Says Porsche Driver

GT-R Wheel Horsepower Released, Requires All Sixty-Four Bits Of PS3 Processor To Calculate

Zapruder Film Shows GT-R Parked Behind Grassy Knoll

Toyota Kills LF-A Project - "What's The ****in' Point" Says Some Japanese Toyota Guy Named Mishimoto Or Some **** Like That

7:38 Time Actually Run On Snow Tires, Includes Coffee Break At Adenauer-Forst

GT-R To Appear In New Film Where It Both Sceams And Saves Whales - Special Effects Not Required

Census Bureau Predicts 14,580 Wigga Kids To Be Named "Skyline", "GT-R", Combination Of Both; GT-R Expected To Be Actual Father In Most Cases

With Added Power, Aftermarket GT-R Badges Now Burning Through Trunklid of Cavaliers, Causing Deadly Fires

2009 Nissan GT-R Posts Top Speed of 253mph

"Evo" Version Expected To Unseat Suzuki Hayabusa As Quarter-Mile Champ

Nissan GT-R To Compete In SWC GT In Stock Form: Heavy R.E.W.A.R.D.S. Weight Expected To Be Necessary To Keep Viper Comp Coupes On The Lead Lap

2008 Ferrari F2008 Revealed To Be Nothing But Convertible GT-R With Passenger Seat Blanked Off and Prancing Horse Emblem Tack-Welded To Bonnet

Chevrolet's Bowling Green Plant To Switch Over To GT-R Production

New Nissan GT-R "More Popular Than Stained Schoolgirl Undies" Among Japanese Men, American Men Who Pretend To Be Japanese

After Being Presented With GT-R, Toretto Agrees Spilner Has Provided Ten-Second Car

- Viergang Fuchs

Chuck Norris impregnated the CEO of Nissan, this was his offspring.

Bungie Studios has announced that the Warthog in Halo will be replaced with a GT-R. V-Spec version to be new tank.

Chief engineer behind the GT-R revealed- its the ghost of Ayrton Senna.

Roswell Aliens: "We just wanted to check out the new GT-R."

Some say... it was designed after the Stig's face.

Torque from GT-R's wheels literally shrinks the Nurburgring by half a mile, explaining low times

GT-R manages to time travel back to 2004

GT-R test drives Top Gear staff. Claims Hammond is too dangerous, May is too boring, and Clarkson is too old and overweight.

The GT-R doesn't run on gas, but on the tears of children.

Only GT-R can prevent forest fires.

The GT-R's exhaust note is the solo from Stairway to Heaven.

Ford Truck's new slogan: Built GT-R tough.

Chevy Truck's new slogan: Like a GT-R.

Audi's new slogan: Never follow, unless its a GT-R.

The Nissan GT-R is the 12th cylon model.

If Lewis Hamilton had been driving a GT-R in China he would have become eight time

world champion.

The GT-R is the first car to win LeMans, the F1 WDC and WCC, the WRC championship, and the Nextel cup in one season.

- Tazio Nuvolari

More GT-R Facts

On Physics

The GT-R simultaneously exists in all places at once, therefore rendering speed tests of any kind irrelevant.

It turns out Einstein was wrong...E=GT-R

The GT-R and TV

GT-R test drives Top Gear staff. Claims Hammond is too dangerous, May is too boring, and Clarkson is to old and overweight.

The GT-R and Video Games

The new Nissan GT-R's multi-funcion display was developed by Polyphony Digital, the same developer behind the popular Gran Turismo video game series. As a result, the Nissan GT-Rs release has been delayed indefinetely.

As a result of development work by Polyphony Digital, the new GT-R simply bounces harmlessly off walls and other cars in the event of collision.

The GT-R and Motorsport

The GT-R is the first car to win LeMans, the F1 WDC and WCC, the WRC championship, and the Nextel cup in one season.

You say Nissan has never won Le Mans? You’d be wrong. You know the R8? Engineering mule for the GT-R.

The GT-R and God

Nissan GT-R engineer J. Christ to create blog related to his work with the physics-bending car. First entry to be titled "My dad didn't help me. Honest."

The GT-R was originally supposed to be be second coming of Christ until the engineers realized that Japanese people don't believe in him anyway so they did the next best thing.