And so we shall christen today as the first day of the new year. But let’s reflect on the past year...

 

2008 was filled with some of the best and worst times of my life. There were Mexicans, wine, model shoots, big O’s and little O’s, beaches, Ransom Notes, besties, dates, heartbreaks, losses and wins, books read, plans made and broken, and frozen yogurt love affairs among other things.

 

This year is going to be really different and I think I am ready for that. Or at least I hope I am. I will be graduating in May, hopefully with a job so that I can begin the next chapter of my life. One thing I am struggling with is what to take along to that next chapter and what to leave behind.

I will most likely be living on my own for the first time. I am desperately looking forward to this while at the same time being absolutely terrified of the inevitable loneliness that comes with privacy.

I wonder if the boy and I will stay together. Our lives will be different, but then again, they always have. I guess it will be a matter of whether we love each other enough to overlook the differences and focus on the things that have kept us together this long. I am worried that I will start wanting things that he will not, which is understandable because he is a year younger. I am interested and, again, terrified to find out how things will turn out with us. Whatever happens, I hope that he will always be in my life. He is one of my best friends and there are few people I love to be with more.

The scariest part about this year is the complete unknown that is my future and the ridiculous amount of variables that go along with that. I love to make plans. I live by them. And now, I don’t really know what my plans are and it is a little unnerving. I trust that everything will work out just as it’s supposed to, but still I would love to have some peace of mind about some things.

You can’t always get what you want.

Despite the unknowns, I have decided to approach this year and its variables with my head held high and a positive attitude. I have no real resolutions (other than the tried and true “I will go to the gym more.”) Instead I have hopes. I hope that this year is filled with happiness and joy. That I will have love and prosperity in my life. I hope I live up to my expectations, and I hope that if none of this happens that I will have the strength to stand up under it and bear it with the help of family, friends and God. I don’t think that’s asking too much.