Parrots belong in the wild, not living in a cage in our home, they should not be pets, I learned this lesson the hard way.  I purchased Ripley, a Moluccan cockatoo 14 1/2 years ago on impulse, she was 6 months old at the time.  Here you have this sweet, cuddly, beautiful baby parrot who is so very intriguing, lovable and fun, I just fell in love with her and brought her home.

Fast forward 14 1/2 years and this is the heartbreaking letter I sent out to family and friends:

Hello all,

I have very sad news, I made the very difficult decision to euthanize Ripley.  This wasn't a decision I came upon lightly, I've been contemplating it for a few years.  I don't believe Ripley was happy, how could she be, she should have been living in a flock of her own kind, spending her days foraging for food, raising babies and flying free.  I simply couldn't give her a fulfilling life in captivity and it was becoming apparent through her behavior, particularly in these past three years since Rosie died.  Ripley had been acting very frustrated and almost depressed, her activity level had decreased greatly, she wasn't motivated to swing on her ropes and play with her toys as she used to.  She had hanging gyms in various rooms of the house so she could be near me but for the most part she would just sit idle on her play gyms, rarely would she get riled up and swing and scream in happiness as she used to.  She had access to many diverse toys, most of which went untouched.

Sadly, she started chewing her feathers off again, typically under two different circumstances; she would do a compulsive activity where she would pick up a toy hanging from a chain, drop it and bite off a feather, over and over again until there were literally a handful of feathers on the floor; she would also go into what I called a "frustrated rage" and just rip off a ton of feathers in a few minutes.

Ripley was always happy to interact with me and visitors, she loved the attention but I could only devote so much time a day to her.  To complicate matters, these past three years Ripley had become very hormonal with a desire to mate, which was focused on me.  This added to both Ripley's and my frustration because I couldn't touch her without engaging her natural hormonal reaction, which resulted in amorous behavior and egg laying.

Clearly parrots should not be kept as pets.  She turned 14 years old in May and I simply couldn't envision her living another 14+ years in captivity.  Purchasing her was an impulse that I don't regret for her sake because I do believe I gave her the best 14 years possible for a captive parrot, I always had her best interests at heart.  From my selfish standpoint, caring for a parrot is a huge amount of work, which I would have continued to do if I felt Ripley was living a happy, enriched life.  Instead what I received for all my effort was a parrot that basically sat still and was quiet the vast part of the day.  It would break my heart to just see her sitting there, hour after hour, occasionally playing with her favorite toy (beads on leather laces) or letting loose a happy scream (inevitably when I answered the phone) but all things considered she didn't appear happy and I know I wasn't happy caring for her.

Finding her another home was simply not an option for I know with certainty that no one could equal the care I gave to her.  I discussed this with my avian vet and she agreed with me.  Statistically the average parrot is passed on to 4-7 different homes in their lifetime, most ending up in horrible circumstances, which I need not go into.  The idea of her being scared, mistreated, hurt physically or mentally terrified me, I simply wasn't going to take that chance with her.  It just wasn't fair that she was trapped in a home instead of being able to fly free with her own kind so I decided to do what I thought best for both Ripley and myself and euthanize her.

I held her in my arms, stroking her beautiful feathers while kissing her goodbye.

I know my decision may be hard for some to comprehend. All I ask is that you have faith that it was an excruciating decision for me to make and that I made it with Ripley's best interest at heart. It's a horrible decision that I will feel the effects of always, and I wouldn't have it any other way as I never want to forget her and how much she mattered in this world.

Lisa

In the painful days that followed I wrote the following letter to my avian veterinarian:

Hello Dr.,

I want to thank you again for your compassion and professionalism in helping me with the very difficult decision to euthanize Ripley.  It's important to me that you realize how much I struggled with making the decision and that even after years of contemplation I still regretted it the next day.  I felt I had made a horrible mistake and I wanted her back badly, but after a flood of tears and the passing of a few days, I calmed down a bit and recognized that if she were still here with me I would only come to the same sad conclusion.  I'm certain I will always feel the pain of my decision and I wouldn't have it any other way as this was not a decision that should have been easy to make or the ramifications of which quick to leave my mind.  It’s heartbreaking for me to think of her innocence, sweetness and dependence on me and I can’t help but replay her life and think of all the things I could have done differently and better for her.  I did love Ripley and always had her best interests at heart.

My decision really came down to the fact that I believe it's an injustice to have a parrot as a pet.  When I compare Ripley's life to that of her wild cousins the contrasts are so dramatic that it's easy to conclude why a captive parrot is difficult to keep happy, entertained and enriched.  The two biggest differences to me were her lack of a flock of her own kind and the fact that I clipped her wings so she couldn't fly.  I did the best I could at becoming her "flock" along with my husband and the dogs.  Ripley was almost always in my presence perched on a hanging play gym but she was still "trapped" on that gym because of her clipped wings, the area she could explore being quite limited.  In retrospect, I see clipping her wings as crippling her and see her cage and play gyms as different "wheelchairs" that I placed her on.

I often wonder if I was too anthropomorphic regarding her?  Here you have a very smart, inquisitive, active, cuddly little bird who is very reminiscent of a human 2 year old and instinctively you want to treat them as such but can you keep that up for 40 years? Clearly I couldn't so I tried a different tactic suggested by a behaviorist I consulted and that was "zoo keeper" mode.  This worked very well for the six years Ripley and Rosie were companions but after Rosie died I tried to transition back into treating Ripley like a 2 year old again by almost always having her in my presence, trying to make up for her loss of Rosie’s companionship.  At this point, the biggest problem was that she had reached sexual maturity and I couldn't touch her without triggering her natural hormonal reaction (often just looking at her would trigger it).  This was incredibly frustrating for me and clearly must have been frustrating for Ripley.  You did discuss with me the concept of trying hormone injections and in retrospect I do wish I had given it a try.  

When I compound the hormonal issues with the feather chewing, her lack of activity/happiness and the huge amount of maintenance involved, it just became exasperating.  Certainly I'm not the only parrot owner to struggle with the predicaments of caring for a parrot.  It is amazing how many people I run into who "had" a parrot and it makes me so sad for the poor bird who has been passed on.  I'm certain you must have other clients who are struggling with similar issues and I would be more then happy to share my feelings and experiences with them, you are welcome to pass on my phone number if they want to talk with someone who's been there.

With all the frustrations there were certainly a lot of positives for both Ripley and I.  Her favorite activities were swinging from a rope swag and removing beads knotted on leather strips.  Ripley did make me laugh and smile and she was a love to cuddle with. She was quite well behaved, never did any serious damage to the house or furniture and was a very neat and tidy bird who would never dream of ripping up the paper on the cage floor.  She did enjoy making "soup", and I have always been intrigued why everything tastes better if it is dunked in water first?  I was incredibly lucky that the sweet words she chose to repeat over and over were "peek-a-boo" and "tickle, tickle, tickle".  

I will always look back with “what ifs” and regrets.  I don’t know that I could ever have given her the one-on-one time and attention she needed and deserved.  I do believe the best solution would have been one my husband and I discussed many times, to adopt another female cockatoo companion for Ripley.  I believe this would have made her (and the adoptive bird) very happy.  My thought was to build a room-sized cage in a spare bedroom encompassing the whole space and allowing the two birds to call it their own, this being where they would spend most of their time.  Additionally we would still have had play gym in the other rooms of the house for them to “visit” and ideally a large outdoor cage for the nicer weather.  The reason I didn’t follow through is pure selfishness on my part; I quickly became overwhelmed by the idea of compounding our commitment for the next 20 or more years.

Thank you again, and please pass on my regards to (assistant) as well, she's wonderful, you are lucky to have such an amazing assistant.  Additionally, thank you for taking the time to read this as you unknowingly have taken on the role of therapist.  I don't have a friend or family member who has ever had a parrot and who would be as understanding of my situation.  It is very helpful for me to write down my thoughts and share them with you.

Sincerely,

Lisa