This week's episode- my favorite topic:  Food!

With their open borders, welcoming ports and aggressive colonization dating back to the 1400's Amsterdam became a melting pot of cultures, styles and identities.  Today’s "Dutch Food" is mostly made up of offerings from their colonies in Indonesia and Surinam.   If not for a really bad trade in 1664, you might see an abundance of North American restaurant choices in Amsterdam instead of Surinam food, but I digress.  I really enjoy Indonesian food, which is best enjoyed as a Rijsttafel (rice table). Think of it as a buffet line on your table.   Indonesian food seems to borrow from Thai, and a little bit from Indian.   There's lots of Satays, rice and spicy sauses.  Suriname food is quite similar, but seems to include some influences from China and Mexico.   Like Morroccan food it's sometimes eaten with your fingers or with a big tortilla type thing.

A couple of things you need to know about dining in Holland. 

Service

First, do yourself a favor and expect a bit less service than what you are accustomed, especially if you're visiting from France or the US.   Many people- residents and visitors alike-  hammer the Dutch for bad or rude service, but I tend to disagree.   I've not encountered any more rude waiters in Holland than I would have in a similar number of experiences in the States, it’s just that the definition of good service is a bit different here than other places.  For example, in Holland your server will not linger at your table chatting you up.   They will not come take your plate away as soon as it is empty.  They will not bring your bill unless you ask for it.   Often, your server will not make eye contact with you after your meal is served.   Why?  Because they value your privacy, and consider it rude to interrupt your meal.   You know that guy in the Mexican restaurant whose job it is to top off your ½ gallon water glass after every 2.74 sips?   Yeah,…you won't find him here.

Speed

My Americans expat friends especially complain about slow service in Holland.  Yes, it’s very true that your meal will be slower here, but that’s largely due to a fundamental difference between the US and European restaurant model.  In the States, a skilled restauranteur might turn the same table 4-5 times in a night.  So, the server is motivated by an efficient balance of speed and friendliness to extract as much tip as possible from the maximum number of tables.   Here, there's no intention of turnover a single table.  People don’t dine out here as frequently as in other places, so the restaurant expects that you will want to take your time and linger with your company.   Remember that, and you'll understand why your server isn't making eye contact after dropping off your food-  they're not trying to kick you out.  This also helps understand the importance of my next point, Reservations.

Beware Anthony Bourdain fans, the term “no reservations” is nothing more than a foreign TV show here.  Even if a restaurant looks completely empty, you can't expect to just walk in and get a table in Holland.   If you understand the service and the speed dynamic, then it makes sense that reservations are very important to a restaurant in Holland.  If you try to walk in and there's no table, there's not going to be a table, so there’s no point in asking to put your name on the list- you’ll only get funny looks.   Press it, and you'll at some point be asked very bluntly why you didn't make a reservation.

If it's any comfort, I frequently call for a reservation 30 – 60  minutes beforehand with no problems.  You don't have to book a week out, the restaurant just likes to know up front how many tables they can expect.

Tipping

They're not working for your tips here.   The price of service is already factored into the menu price, and your server is making a good living without your spare change.   10% is a satisfactory tip.  15% is becoming excessive.  20% is offensively American.  If you do get bad service, don't leave a tip.  Most folks I know just round up to the nearest Euro and call it a night.  This should not only explain a little bit why the service is a bit more distant, but also understand how silly it seems when the uncomfortably perky girl taking your order at Chili’s suddenly wants to be your BFF.

Other Stuff

As an American there’s a few things that will help enjoy your Dutch dining experience a bit more:

1.   Ordering- your server probably won’t come to take your order until you’ve stopped looking at the menu.  When you’re ready, close the menu, set it down, and play the first round of “who can make eye contact with the server.”
   

2.   Empty Plates- don’t be surprised if your plate isn’t carried away immediately upon finishing your meal.  It’s considered rude here if someone is still eating for their guests plates to be removed.  Remember, it’s about pacing, not speed!
   

3.   Water- You pay for water here, and you have two choices:  sparkling or still.   Typically you  buy a 1L bottle, and it’s not cheap.   Want more water?  Order another bottle, playing your second game of “who can make eye contact with the server.”   Your server might pour your water for you, and if they do, they will only fill your [small] glass to half full.   The rest is up to you.
   

4.   Bread- Welcome to Europe.   Sometimes the bread is free, but it is not a bottomless basket.   Ask for more and you might get a funny look from your server for expecting more than your fair share. 
   

5.   Smoking- Yes, much of Europe is still smoking.  As of July 1 The Netherlands passed a smoking ban in public buildings, including restaurants.   It remains to be seen if this will be enforced, but most restaurants are full bore smoking with a couple of non-smoking tables.    From what I can see, more Dutch than not light up immediately upon finishing their meal. 
   

6. The check-  your server will not automatically drop off your check at after your food arrives, you have to ask for it.   Sometimes this is a difficult exercise.  This is when you play the final game of “who can make eye contact with the server.”
   

Oh, and one last thing before I forget.   When dining in Holland, always greet your dinner companions at and around your table with an enthusiastic “Eet Smakelijk!”