... unless I got my butt blogging again. So here I am!

 

Now that the actor playing Victoria is back earning her pay like everybody else, it seems time to comment on the (boring) developments in Genoa City. One reader commented that Noah has Bad Hair. I agree, and all the more reason for that kid to get his annoying little hynie to the SMGBS (Swiss Miracle Growth Boarding School). As soon as he sets his peepers on Victor Jr (who appears to be thirty, but chronologically can’t be older than fifteen), he’ll run off of his own accord. Clearly, the SMGBS has started to churn out gorgeous men instead of annoying late adolescents like Daniel and Lily. Noah, if he has any brains at all, will see the benefits of leaving Genoa City at the tender age of eleven, and returning in a year as a strapping, desirable twenty-five-year-old.

 

 

I’m through talking about Amber, except to note that it’s really amazing to discover the crazy stuff the kids leave on their chairs at Crimson Lights. When Amber decided to disguise herself  so she could enter the “Fresh Face of Jabot” contest, she simply dug around in the Lost ‘n’ Found box at the coffee shop and pulled out a perfectly good red wig, a tight red dress, some cool shades and enough make-up to split atoms over at the GCAC. The things kids leave behind...

 

Here, I must wildly digress to mention Gloria’s jungle print pants from last week. My God. At The Wine and The Are, we were heard to gasp in unison at the entirely unflattering way they rode her normal, attractive figure. To make matters worse, there were several very unflattering shots of said jungle-covered butt in close-up exiting rooms. Poor Gloria. Well, we can only hope to be seeing her in hospital greens if her “I think I’ll poison myself cause that seems like a good idea!” plan works out.

 

Now that Gloria has updated the Abbott mansion, I feel (and I agree with my readers) that it’s time to update the Newman ranch. All it would take is for someone to get rid of the Blue Plate. Please! Will someone break the Blue Plate? You know the one. It sits on a pedastal of some kind behind the couch in the living room and is, therefore, in Every Shot.

 

Of course, wine helps. Unfortunately, as the wine is consumed, we do tend to see two or more blue plates as the bottle is emptied. We find that this Daniel Craig Pinot helps ease the painful sight of the Blue Plate and makes Daniel’s hair and Amber’s entire existence easier to stomach.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here at The Wine and The Are, we are nothing if not cheap.