Kim & Steve Cooper

Narcissism / Emotional Abuse / Narcissistic Personality Disorder

 



I know that you are probably very busy and that your time is precious, but what other precious things in your life are now in danger or at stake?


  1. •Your Marriage?

  2. •Your Ability to Attract a Partner and live Happily Together?

  3. •Your Kids Having Healthy Role Models to Learn Relationship Skills From?

  4. •Your Financial Security?

  5. •Your Ability to Make and Keep Friends? 

  6. •Your Kids’ Emotional and Physical Security and Friendships?


If you have fears about any of these, I have valuable and new information for you today that you can’t afford to skip over or to miss. Your decision to give this information your full attention (and the time it deserves) will be a valuable investment in yourself and your future.




Maybe you know my husband Steve and I from “The Love Safety Net,” or our popular online movies or radio show? Well today I hope to share with you a bit of our history, which might help you tremendously if you are having problems in your relationships or your marriage.



Our story involves narcissism or NPD (narcissistic personality disorder), the disorder that is a major cause of emotional and domestic abuse and chronic marital fighting. We have gone public with our story to help more people learn to recognize and deal with this condition. Many professionals don’t believe there is any effective treatment or cure for this disorder, so please, if symptoms on this page sound like you or your partner, don’t rush straight out and try to find a psychologist, psychiatrist or doctor (or get lost in the gloom online while searching for information on this subject) before we get a chance to personally offer you some very sound and practical guidance and hope from ordinary people who have overcome our relationship difficulties and who both understand and care.


I hope that us sharing our experience will help you to protect yourself from some of the mistakes that I made and the bitter and nasty people I ran into (online), when I first discovered that Steve was NPD. We have information for you to put to use immediately if you are facing these problems, and I look forward to sharing with you what I did that fixed our marriage even when everyone said it was hopeless.




To get started there are 3 very vital questions you need to ask yourself to know, once and for all, that you are not the abuser, as well as 3 things you should stop doing immediately that will only make things worse ...




After years of fighting and emotional abuse, I was directed to read information on-line which led me to suspect that Steve was suffering from Narcissism or NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). Even worse, when I talked to a professional mental health worker about my suspicions, he agreed and I was told outright that I should divorce Steve and that there was no cure. I was treated like a fool for thinking he could get better. Despite this (and although he was hurting me) I refused to abandon him. In my heart I knew that leaving was the wrong thing for me to do. There HAD to be answers. I received lots of professional help and advice, learned lots about psychology (and made a lot of mistakes) and then finally I discovered (from a friendly local police officer) the first of the steps I would take to end the fights. Steve and I have a great marriage now and we want to help you find the same. We want to help you move past feeling rejected, humiliated, powerless (and perhaps even that you might be going crazy) to knowing that you are loved and valued for who you are in your home and in your community.


Does Someone Close to You Suffer from Narcissism? ...


Narcissism looks like this... Your partner treats you and perhaps your children different in private than in public. In public they may ignore you and give all of their attention to others, or pretend to be the perfect husband and father (or mother and wife), while in private they are sarcastic, haughty and insulting and show little regard for you or your children's feelings. They may criticize you and put you and your friends and relatives down behind their backs while being egotistical, negative and arrogant and pretending that they deserve things they haven’t worked for or earned. In public they may manipulate people and situations for attention while acting very charming and pretending they are more important than they are. This will fool people and few will believe you if you tell them how rudely they talk to their family in private. Your partner may treat you and the kids with loathing and self righteousness (and/or chauvinism) and display all kinds of conceit, acting like they are of superior intelligence, looks or physical prowess, and treat you like they are better (and more popular) than you, while often being cold, withdrawn, arrogant and unavailable. The criticism, insults and lack of involvement or concern for your well being and feelings may cause you and/or your kids to feel rejected, hurt, humiliated, powerless, ashamed and angry and can lead to mental health and psychological problems and addictions within your family.




I write from our experience, but there are narcissistic women too; the statistics say that there are more men than women with narcissism, but our audience is about 50/50. Female narcissists cause their male partners just as much pain and humiliation and cause just as much chaos and destruction in their lives and the lives of those close to them. If you are a man dealing with a woman in your life that displays this behavior, we want to help you too.


It’s not black and white anyway. We all have narcissistic tendencies which can affect our relationships badly. Learning to deal with Steve’s narcissism helped me better face my own selfish tendencies.




A narcissistic partner or family member
will lie about you or paint a bad picture of you to gain sympathy from others. You should know that this is not because there is anything wrong with you, they do this to justify their own bad behavior. You may have no idea of all of the lies they are telling you, as well as the lies and exaggerations they may be telling others about you.




If your narcissistic partner makes fights when you try and talk about money, you should know that they may be hiding credit cards or money transactions from you. They will pretend these fights are your fault, but really this is to try and cover their guilt by putting the blame on you.




Narcissistic individuals are obsessed by the fantasy of an ideal relationship that is ‘perfect’ (and therefore fantasy!) and are skilled liars so if the above symptoms describe your partner you should be aware that he/she may habitually have secret crushes, be having affairs, using pornography, and/or conducting ‘cyber’ affairs (lying that they are single) all without your knowledge. If you notice that their mind is often elsewhere, and they show other symptoms of this disorder, this could be the reason. This obsession with fantasy is part of what makes them unavailable, impatient and angry with you. It is a major symptom of this disorder. You may not want to consider this possibility, I know I didn’t believe it until the evidence was right in front of me ... and then I was shattered.




Not all individuals suffering from narcissism are physically abusive, but it is a significant indicator that you will end up part of a domestic violent marriage. The physical abuse is not always perpetrated by the narcissist either. It is normal to become very angry with someone who manipulates and puts you down. It is even normal after years of this treatment (especially if you discover that they have been cheating on you, after years of them being insulting, rude and blaming you for everything wrong in their life) for you to want to kill them or wish them dead. This is obviously very serious and so getting the right help and support is very important, but can be nearly impossible to find. We care and are here to help! We want to help you move past feeling resentful and wanting to punish you partner or wanting revenge, to feeling secure and good about yourself, and moving into a new time of being loved, respected and valued in your family.




Those people who say ‘leave and no contact’ are giving you very dangerous advice! This is exactly how to provoke and escalate rage and physical (and emotional) abuse and domestic violence in couples with these problems. It may also result in stalking. Even worse the perpetrator of the violence and stalking may be you! Partners of narcissists are often enraged by how callously their partners can ‘cast them aside' with no explanation. More people are killed or injured when leaving their relationship or in the two months after leaving than at any other time. If you want to leave, of course that is OK, but please get our advice first on how to do it safely and how to get closure.




Before you give up on your marriage or take steps that may NOT improve your safety, I want to share a few comments with you from our subscribers. I have not included names here - but this is all genuine feedback from real people that our information has helped over the past year. It took Steve and I a long time to have the courage to go public with our story, but after things had been better with us for a few years we decided that we just had to do it. We saw so many people suffering that we couldn’t keep quiet any longer. It was embarrassing at first, but getting letters like the ones below makes it all worthwhile






Don’t expect your partner to acknowledge or want to fix this problem; we offer YOU things to do, to make you emotionally and physically safer and bring love and respect back to you in your community and your home. Confronting your partner with your belief that they may have this disorder is NOT the solution. Also there is NO evidence of therapy being successful at treating narcissism, so your goal is NOT to try and coerce them into therapy. Personality disorders are helped best with a reparative relationship. This is why we sometimes call our approach ‘parenting the adult”; Just as learning new parenting skills can help your child feel safe and learn better behavior, you can learn new ways of responding and relating to your partner to help them in a very similar way. This is not about ‘flooding them with love’ as I sometimes hear people mistakenly say. Love and trust ARE important but you will also need some very practical advice about limiting their abusive behavior and dealing with your own emotions better. We are going to give you all the steps that YOU need to take, to earn your partners respect, improve your feelings of self worth and to help you to reclaim your life and your home.




Immediately after subscribing you will receive a link to a private page where I will give you the 3 questions to ask yourself to be sure that it is not you causing the fights! I also want to share with you 3 things that you should stop doing immediately (that most partners of narcissists do daily) that will only make matters worse. All of this is completely free when you subscribe and is only two simple steps away.


We have loads to offer and so you will never spend hours searching for information on narcissism again. Family breakdown is probably the biggest problem in the community and we work diligently to provide you with the most up to date information available as cheaply as possible. We are real people and we are genuinely here to help.






Please make sure that you confirm your subscription by clicking on the link in the e-mail that I will send you in a moment. You will be directed straight to the information I have promised when you click on the confirmation link in this email.


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PLEASE NOTE - Kim is not a therapist or doctor, but her advice is well researched and has been reviewed by a professional psychotherapist and includes qualified advice from many sources including Social Services and the Police. Please note that you may however still want to read this Disclaimer and Privacy Policy before using this site or her products.


©MODPOD2008


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