There comes a day in a new mother’s life when she finally realizes she actually LIKES her babies.  I’m not sure how long this normally takes with a singleton, but with two at a time, it took me about 4 months.  I have obviously LOVED them since the day they were born, and even before then, as I talked to them in utero and rubbed my belly, and gave them their daily dose of classical music in hopes that it would eventually raise their IQ points well above the class average of all Ivy League Universities.  But now I like them.  I honestly think they are the coolest darn babies in the whole wide world.  HOWEVER.... it was (and still is) hard. Very, very hard.  People ask all the time “Isn’t it the best feeling in the world?”, “Don’t you just love it??”.  I have a friend (also recently a new parent) who told me that he and his wife were going to start punching people the next time they got that question.  I think I’d have to agree.  What “feeling” are these crazy people talking about??? Functioning on 5 hours sleep? Walking around in a house that doesn’t look like its  been cleaned in 4 months? Crying so hard you can’t even walk up the stairs? Wearing the same clothes (i.e. pajamas) for 3 days in a row? But I’ll admit... now... and ONLY JUST NOW, am I starting to realize what people are talking about.  So... shame on all of you parents who have repeatedly asked Kevin and I, “Is it hard?”.  COME ON.  I honestly think that you are asking us this just to feel better about yourselves... because when your “little one” was 4 months old, you and yours could barely get your hard above the water.  You all used to make me feel like a bad parent, questioning myself because I felt it was so hard.  Until, of course, I realized you were just all idiots. (kidding.)  So, for all you that need an answer (and as if you don’t know)... Um, yes.  It’s unbelievably hard.    So, seriously... stop using Kevin and I as your sounding board.  I’d say its the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And I mean from the START... the pregnancy, the labor, the first four months. All of it... hard, hard, hard.  But now, finally... it’s hard AND fun.  It’s finally becoming rewarding.  (And no, it wasn’t really rewarding earlier.)  As a matter of fact, just this morning, I felt a tooth breaking through Mallory’s gums for the first time.  I was so proud of her I almost started crying. Seriously.  (as if SHE had anything to do with the tooth. I’m a dork.)  

 

On a very thankful note, I’ve talked to several new parents over the past four months, playing the “is this normal/am I normal?” game for hours on end. We’ve had some really great laughs and vowed to be the parents that really “tell it like it is”, and not pretend like it’s this grand occasion in which you feel this INSTANT, LOVING, INSEPARABLE bond with your children.  Because, I can tell you, there have been so many times when “inseparable” is the last feeling I can imagine having.... as I’m shoving them at Kevin or my mom, while running out the door, to grab a much needed glass of wine... or just to have a good cry.  

 

But at least for now... at least for this week... I actually like those darn babies :)

 

(Wait... I should probably footnote that they are currently napping.  Had they, however, been screaming in the background, the tone of this blog could have been completely different. You might want to stay tuned for that one.  It could get very interesting.)