A day in the life...
Many of you have asked what a “typical” day is like for us. First... the word “typical” should never be used once you have children. Nothing will ever be “typical” once again. But I can run you through what a lot of days have been like....
4am... Wake to one of the babies crying. Pretend you’re asleep so the other parent has to attend to the baby. Both parents pretend to be sleeping.
4:10am... One parent finally gives in and goes to check on the baby. This usually results in re-swaddling, or plugging with a pacifier.
7am... One baby wakes to let you know the day is supposed to begin. Reluctantly wake the other baby. Change both babies and commence bottle feeding of pumped breastmilk. Try to find burp cloth that doesn’t reek of sour milk. Decide that laundry MUST be done today.
7:30am... Pump.
8am... Lay babies down in bed with mommy. Mallory admires ceiling fan and falls asleep. Taylor refuses to sleep unless on mommy’s chest. Get Taylor to sleep, and try to sneak him onto the bed so chores can get done.
9am... Start washing bottles and pumping equipment. Start making bottles of pumped milk. Go upstairs numerous times to soothe screaming Taylor, who has now realized he’s sleeping in the bed, and not on mommy’s chest.
10am... Breast-feed babies while drinking coffee and eating some sort of granola bar and watching something interesting on Discovery Health channel (usually baby related.)
11am... Try to entertain babies for an hour. Hold and talk to Mallory while Taylor is in bouncy seat. Taylor tires of bouncy seat. Admit to self that you’re never going to get through an episode of “The View” and put on Baby Einstein video “Learning Colors”. Taylor tires of video at color “purple”. (Mallory could watch the video four times in a row if we let her.)
11:45am... Decide that babies are crying because they are tired. Swaddle babies and put down for nap in pack-and-play. Mallory falls asleep after 2-3 minutes of fussing.
12pm... Pick up screaming Taylor and re-swaddle, insuring that blanket is high enough over mouth to keep him from spitting out his pacifier.
12:30pm... Do laundry, or another “upstairs” chore, to remove mommy from Taylor’s incessant crying.
12:45pm... Taylor finally falls asleep.
1pm... Mallory wakes crying, and wakes up Taylor. Run to make lunch before outright screaming ensues. Change both babies and breast-feed while watching back to back episodes of the Cosby Show. Eat lunch while feeding both babies. Brush crumbs off babies’ heads and faces.
1:45pm... Lay babies on blanket for tummy time. Both babies cry because this is apparently boring to them. Try to entertain babies on tummy.
1:50pm... Give in to babies crying, and put Mallory in her bouncy seat. Play one on one with Taylor, trying to get him to talk back and smile. Try to convince Taylor he is a “happy baby” and in a good mood.
2:30... Lay babies down for nap. Start to clean up around the house. Fold laundry that was washed earlier. Feel good about yourself that you have clean burp cloths.
2:40pm... Babies still crying. Check diapers. Both dry. Contemplate whether or not to shower today.
3pm... One of the babies is screaming while the other is sound asleep. Put screaming baby in Baby Bjorn front-pack and try to get chores done. Complain about how heavy the baby pack is, and then laugh as you remember that you carried around 50 extra pounds just three months ago.
3:30pm... Other “non Baby Bjorned” baby starts crying in pack-and-play. Find pacifier and plead with baby to sleep until his/her 4pm feeding.
3:50pm... Give in to babies and prepare for 4pm feeding by gathering snacks and a drink for mommy. Change both babies. Begin breast-feeding. Watch Oprah while feeding, and make a phone call to daddy to beg him to leave work early.
4:30pm... Hold both babies and try to sing songs to them. Realize that the only songs you know all the words to are Christmas carols. Sing Christmas carols to babies.
5pm... Try to find another activity to do with babies. Decide that babies won’t really remember they already watched the Baby Einstein video, so pop it in again. Run upstairs to check emails and sneak in a game of Spider Solitaire.
5:20pm... Hear that it is about to be the color “purple” on the Baby Einstein video. Run downstairs and bounce Taylor in his seat while trying to convince him that he can at least ONCE get through the entire video. Try to keep calm and remember that daddy will be home in 20 minutes.
5:30pm... Check diapers and start to swaddle babies for naps. Daddy walks in and wants to play with babies. Put off naptime for a few more minutes.
6pm... Swaddle babies and put down for naps. Decide with daddy what the activity of the evening is going to be. Convince ourselves that there has to be SOMETHING we need at Target because Mommy REALLY wants to get out of the house. Decide NOT to swaddle babies, and put them in their car seats instead.
6:05pm... Pack diaperbag with bottles just in case. Head to Mexican restaurant in village. Babies sleep in car seats (not IN the car) while Mommy and Daddy eat and drink (not strong enough) margaritas.
7pm... Back at home. Change babies. Convince Daddy to feed both babies using the Boppy, so Mommy can take a needed break. Contemplate (for the 2nd time) whether or not to shower today.
7:30pm... Watch Wheel of Fortune while each holding a baby. Get jealous of other parent because they are holding the “good” baby.
8pm... Carry babies upstairs and swaddle for last nap.
8:10pm... Try to enjoy evening with babies screaming in the background.
8:15pm... Back upstairs to check on still screaming baby. Check diaper. Hold and rock baby for a second. Baby starts to fall asleep. Place baby in crib and walk out. Baby starts screaming when the hardwoods make a creak. Keep walking downstairs.
9pm... Prepare bottles for last feeding of the night. Start to gather everything for the evening that will need to be carried upstairs.
10pm... Daddy feeds babies their one formula feeding. Daddy feeds babies on the Boppy in rocking chair in the nursery while Mommy lays in the bed and pumps breastmilk while trying to find something “relaxing” on TV.
10:40pm... Mommy goes into nursery where babies are laying on a sleeping Daddy like a pile of puppies. Each take a baby and swaddle for the night.
11pm... Find the bed. Talk about plans for the next day. Beg Daddy to call in sick tomorrow.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006