5,438th Wake Up Call
Saturday, February 16, 2008 1:25PM
This is for me. I am not sending this to anyone. I don’t care if anyone reads this. I just want some sort of record so I can hold myself accountable.
I wouldn’t say that I am unhappy, but I am definitely not living the way I want t live. I have a husband whom I love very much and who makes me laugh (but also infuriates me on a regular basis). My job: ditto.
Thankfully my family is relatively healthy, I have friends and a social life. I’m not too bad on the eyes (see above) and I consider myself to be fairly smart.
BUT..... I don’t feel like I am doing everything I can to be as healthy and as productive as I can. Actually sitting around and putting this together when i should be cleaning the bathroom isn’t very productive either, but....oh well. I have to start somewhere.
I have ADD and I always have something new that captures my interest and then I kinda forget about it. For example, I am concerned about my health and my weight and my overall well being and so I get on these kicks about exercise or eating well and then I never stick to it. I try to get organized and keep my house clean, but that doesn’t last very long. I start out with the best intentions but.....you know all about good intentions and the path to hell and all that good stuff.
I possess absolutely ZERO will power. Well I have the will power to resist doing anything unpleasant and choose the path of least resistance. But I don’t want to be that girl anymore! I have a laundry list of things that I want to be but I think that in the interest of sanity I should probably narrow my list down a bit. But first, maybe I should take the time to list what I have accomplished and start from there:
1. I have my health...meaning, that I am not sick or suffering from any injuries or chronic conditions.
2. I have a handsome, funny, hardworking husband who loves me very much. He’s kinda ornery sometimes but he’s a wonderful person and despite all the piss and vinegar, we have a great time together.
3. I have a job. I work for a great company and I have a great boss. I also make pretty decent money.
4. I have a decent roof over my head. It’s not my own (we rent) but I live in a great community and although the place is a little worn around the edges and shabby, it’s not some roach infested slum.
5. I have a wonderful family. They live far, but they are there for me when I need them.
6. I have some great friends who all serve different purposes. Some are for going out, some are for deep thoughts, some are for smart conversation, some are for eating, but they are all friends.
7. I have the coolest pets! My dog, Maxine is sooo pretty! And I have the two coolest cats ever!
So why the title of the post then? Well....because you always hear about people talking about “The Wake Up Call”. This one event that forced them to reevaluate their lives and how they live it. Well, my life isn’t so dramatic, but there have been plenty if instances where I have shaken myself up a bit and said “Ok! This is it! I am making a change”. But then, I spend so much time planning the change and analyzing it, and getting ready for it and then.........nothing! I get bored, or move on to something else.
Well I am tired. Exhausted. Disappointed. Annoyed.
I am:
1. Overweight
2. Stressed out (but this one I have made great strides in)
3. Broke (despite my decent paying job)
4. Always tired
5. Totally disorganized
6. Hopelessly unproductive
7. Very unkind and impatient with myself
I figure that if I can get that list taken care of, I can finally get closer to having some inner peace. If I can tackle them one at a time I can be golden.
Maybe I can choose a new one every month and by August I will be on my way to be being:
1. In shape
2. Relaxed and zen
3. Flush and with some savings in the bank
4. Full of energy
5. Organized and put together
6. Accomplished
7. Forgiving of my mistakes
BUT.....where do I start?
Well, right now I am hungry and I have a bag of Hot Buffalo Wing pretzels STARING at me! They have been there for the last 30 minutes, but I won’t move them because I want to force myself to resist them!
Hmmm. I just thought of something: maybe instead of working on one thing each month I can do one thing from each category each day towards that goal.
So what did I do today?
1. Yoga class.
2. Have not gotten unnecessarily annoyed or angry at things that are beyond my control.
3. Heh! I’m between paychecks right now so this is gonna have to wait...but then again, I didn’t use S’s credit card to buy a bento box so I guess that counts for something.
4. I got a good night’s sleep last night and the yoga counts for this too.
5. Day’s not over yet!
6. See #5
7. Forgave myself for not going onto the treadmill after yoga.
Ok that wasn’t so hard! Hmmm maybe I can do this :)
Note: I plan to clean my bathroom and clean up my kitchen a bit to cover 5 and 6.
