April 1964 was a very good month for some couples I know. Like my parents, my friend Amy’s parents, and every other set of parents who were lucky enough to get pregnant in April 1964 or the month of April any year.

Unfortunately, their offspring weren’t as lucky. We’re the infamous December Birthday Babies. Some of us are known as the Christmas Babies, with birthdays that fall either on or close to December 25th; but January Birthday Babies report they’re in the same cradle.

Catch me on a good day and ask, like folks usually do, “How do you like having a birthday three days before Christmas?”

On a good day, I’ll answer, “Well, as a child it was difficult. But now, my husband and kids make a big deal out of it so it’s okay.”

On a bad day, “It stinks, thank you very much.”

“Oh but WHY?” they gush, “I think that would be so special!”

Special?

Picture this. Your child’s birthday is in April. I send my kid to your kid’s party with a gift wrapped in Christmas paper. In April. You think those moms aren’t going to talk? The gift is a Christmas tree ornament. Now the moms are definitely talking. The kid is crying. No one thinks anything special about my wrapping paper, my gift or me.

Rule #1 for giving birthday gifts in December: Never use Christmas paper.

For a child, a Christmas birthday can be traumatizing. Just ask my therapist. It shapes how you view anybody’s birthday, at any time of the year, for the rest of your life. Your birthday happens over Christmas break, so you don’t get to take cupcakes to your classmates, wear the Birthday Crown or be Line Leader. If your parents can manage a party during the holiday hoopla, it will be small. All your friends have already left for Detroit to see Grandma.

The most well meaning friends and relatives forget December birthdays. And even if they remember, they’re out shopping, out of town and out of money.

For a child with a December birthday there aren’t enough holidays. You get all your gifts at one time during the year. That’s it. Then, without fail (because you’re a kid, remember) March, April, May and June roll around and there will be something you’re just dying to have. A new toy, a bike, a set of Clairol brown fleece wrapped gentle steam hot rollers.

What do your parents say when you ask? “That’s for a special occasion. Like your birthday.” or “Remember that when you write your list for Santa.” Eleven months between gift getting is an eternity for a child.

One of the perks of getting older was my calendar of holidays expanded. I started dating Scott and had Valentine’s Day to celebrate. He bought me a watch. I’d never gotten a watch before that wasn’t in a promotional Christmas gift box.

We married and gained an anniversary to celebrate. My husband looked at our newlywed closet and commented, “I thought all women had a ton of clothes. My friends warned me I wouldn’t get any space in this closet. What gives?”

“It’s June. I have no summer clothes because my birthday’s in December. Wait until winter. We’ll need a bigger house just for the sweaters.”

Giving birth added Mother’s Day to my calendar. Additionally, I justify doing something special for myself on my kid’s birthdays too. I mean, who did all the hard work here? Did you ever stop to think about that? We get fat, tired, hemorrhoids, poked, prodded, exposed, stretched as wide as Wisconsin and who gets all the presents for the rest of their lives? Those lousy kids who only had to pop out and scream for the next 18 years. And who keeps them alive, healthy, supplied with cheerios, clean underwear and last minute poster board from one birthday to the next?

Excuse me… I need to wire flowers to my mom.

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Please go here now. Go: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=36974853546

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A special note to my December Birthday Baby Brothers and Sisters:

Remember as a kids you had to wait ALL year for an excuse to ask for a gift? And then you got the dreaded, "Combo Birthday-Christmas Gift". And if you DID get an actual birthday gift, it was wrapped in Christmas paper. Bet you got a lot of ornaments too...Please go here now:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=36974853546

And now to my Non-December Birthday Friends:

You can vote to stop this epidemic!

December Birthday Babies of the World need you! We are your friends, neighbors, spouses, loved ones, coworkers. Heck, we might even be your biggest nemesis but isn’t it that time of year to have a heart? Help us by going here now:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=36974853546