Dear Josey,

My boyfriend wants to get into spanking. Do you have any suggestions on how to get into it?

Slap happy

Dear Slap,

Why, you just put that young man over your knee and spank his bottom for even thinking such a thing.

Seriously, if you wanna get into some serious spanking, there’s lots to consider and lots of folks out there willing to offer advice. The spankers I’ve talked to say it’s best to warm things up with a little bum massage and some pinching and squeezing. This prepares the bum for what’s to come and causes your brain to release neurotransmitters that up the pain threshold. The more of these brain chemicals released, the more pain you can take. Your pain threshold is greatest right before orgasm so you can really go whacky. Be prepared however, because once you come, the chemicals wear off and your tushy might feel like its just been sitting on a hot burner.

Most importantly, be careful because you can seriously hurt someone if you don’t know what you’re doing. If you value your kidneys, you need too make sure you don’t hit too high, for example. If you’re want to get into some serious corporal stuff, do your homework. Start with a site like allthingsspanking.com or pick up a copy of ??? Otherwise, put him over you knee and get to it.

Dear Josey;

I am a straight, 40-year-old male. For as long as I can remember, I have been turned on by wet clothes. I find the sensation of clothing wafting around me in water or of wet fabric clinging to my skin out of water to be very erotic. I take many baths and showers fully clothed. My sexual fantasies almost always feature images of women in wet clothes, walking in the rain or swimming fully clothed. Thanks to the internet, I have found I am not alone. I, like other wet-clothing enthusiasts, am concerned that women will be weirded out when I tell them what really turns me on. How might I find acceptance and share my turn-on with someone special?

Wet and Wild

Dear Wet;

You’re right. In fact, there’s a whole world of wet-clothing enthusiasts out there who are part of a fetish sub-genre known as "wet and messy" or WAM, which brings new meaning to the name My Messy Bedroom. According to one source on the Ultimate Wetlook Directory (www.umd.net) - a directory with links to hundreds of WAM sites - WAM is a catch-all phrase that describes a variety of fetishes that include the following: clothing and/or hair either underwater or dripping wet; wallowing in mud and getting “sucked” into quicksand and deep mud pits; “messy” substances like syrup, pies, paint and the like. WAM does not include water sports (pee play), scatology or other bodily-fluid activities that might technically make you wet.

I found Jewish WAM groups, Japanese WAM, the Dutch Wet Club (“for people who want to get wet without getting naked”), which holds regular pool parties (I guess everyone fights to be the first to be thrown into the pool with their clothes on), and forums where WAM enthusiasts debate the joys of wet jeans over wet leather.

Isn’t it wonderful the way the internet brings communities together?

Admittedly, being aroused by people in wet clothes isn’t exactly a fringe sexual interest. WAMmers find wet, clingy, see-through clothes erotic - which would make most of us WAMmers really. Wet T-shirt contest anyone? But groups of guys getting together to go swimming with their clothes on is a little different than skimpily clad Playboy models frolicking in the surf.  As is finding fully dressed people completely submerged in water arousing. In some cases, people in the latter category are aroused by breath control and sexual asphyxia and find the danger of near drowning to be exciting. (Kids, do not try this at home.)

I have no idea what it is about showering in your clothes that arouses you, but you’re right in assuming that a many women might be a little weirded out by it. Luckily, some women are more open than others. I’m afraid you’ll have to take the risk and hope you find someone who is equally enthusiastic or doesn’t mind an occasional hosing down. You mention that most of your sexual fantasies include the wet look, but you don't say whether or not you can get aroused without it. A true fetishist can usually ONLY be aroused when his fetish is involved as part of sex. If you can’t have sex without some form of water play, like too much of any one thing, anyone might find it a little tiresome after awhile, just like one might get tired of doing it in the bedroom every single time. If this is the case, you may have to find someone who is equally excited about making a splash every time. And lucky you, thanks to the internet, you can.