I believe that each person has the need to be understood and to connect with others.  The ability to truly listen to one another is one avenue that leads to building a caring relationship, one that transcends mere circumstances and creates a human connection.  Being curious about others helps in the process of learning to listen.  Asking questions that gently probe, reflecting what has been said without passing judgment strengthens the process of making a connection with another person. Listening with the ear of your heart means valuing others through the practice of devoting yourself to an engaging dialogue in a way that says, “You matter to me and I respect you enough to listen and seek to understand”.

 

Although we live in an age of sophisticated communication systems it does not, by any means, guarantee that anyone is listening.  Being heard is not necessarily the result of having communicated . . . I am blessed to have been able to experience, at a young age, the difference between speaking, hearing and truly seeking to understand . . . I learned from the best, my grandmothers.

 

Having always grown up living at my paternal grandmothers’ home, surrounded with a large extended family of gifted storytellers, I was immersed in a never ending series of family history and stories. This multi-generational communal upbringing provided a window into the intensity of relationships and the importance of honoring one another through the art of listening. Each grandmother modeled the practice of being fully present for one another – turning to one another became a way of life.    

 

As a young child, whether nestled in my Mother’s lap, perched by the fireside with family friends, or tagging along with older siblings and an unending posse of cousins I recall vividly the sounds of conversations.  I was a curious child who often relayed messages between family members and developed, at an early age, the art of listening with the ear of your heart.  When people called our home they always hoped I would answer as I could bring them up to date with what was really happening rather than the scaled down version of essential facts. I could always provide the why of the story . . . the details, along with the relevant context. Connecting the dots among an ever increasing cast of characters became my living history lesson.

 

I learned that people were incredibly complex and part of an intricate web of life.  My family members and their circle of friends filled our home with opinions, reflections and speculation about everyday events and challenges.  Whether sharing joy or sorrow, successes or failures, acceptance of rejection people expressed themselves with the intention of being heard and a yearning to be understood – to make a human connection. I believe this connection is the beauty of living and at the heart of all loving relationships.

 

Being curious about others helped me learn to listen and ask questions. I genuinely wanted to know more about each person who entered our home.  I honed my listening skills by quizzing a parade of interesting people who joined us for a meal and shared an evening together, often chatting until the wee hours of the morning.  My father, an outgoing salesman collected friends and acquaintances who graced our home with recounts of adventurous travels.  It was a privilege to truly tune in to the thoughts and ideas of others in a way that validates the unique stories each one of us possesses.    

 

I believe that listening with the ear of your heart is a pathway to fully experiencing life through the beliefs and perceptions of another human being.  My family members modeled a blend of compassion, the art of inquiry and the beauty of looking beyond one’s self to learn about others.  To fully take in the essence of another person is to listen with the ear of your heart.  I am humbled and challenged to grow in the knowledge that seeking to understand is a far greater gift than to be understood.