Fall_Announcements

Fall Announcements & Ideas

from Joanne Fleisher

Meeting other married women is a wish expressed by many women who contact me. My Ask Joanne message board is a lifeline for many women, but often not enough. What is the next step? If you are a married women, you might contact your local Gay/lesbian Center if you live near a city or university to see if a support group already exists. If not, here are some ideas.

Women in Philadelphia, Delaware, New Jersey, Maryland, or nearby:
The Philadelphia Bi-weekly Support Group in Chestnut Hill
Women are traveling the distance to be a part of these ongoing groups.
Women too far, but wanting to take the next step:
The Tele-conferencing Support Group
A 7 session group starting in the new year
Women who can wait:
The Living Two Lives Weekend Workshop
Planned for March, 2008
Women who are therapists or work with therapists:
Ask your therapist to start a Living Two Lives Support Group in your area.
Give her the information about the November Training for Professionals.
See prior newsletter: “tele-training” for details.
**The above programs are led by Joanne Fleisher

Please contact me to register for any of these programs.
Read my past newsletters: all_newsletters

And some thoughts to ponder as we approach fall:

A married woman wrote me, “I’m in my early 30’s...wouldn't I know (if I were gay) by now?”
My Response
I devote a section of my book addressing your question- and I understand your confusion on a very personal level. There are no easy answers- you need to find the answers that make the most sense to you.
Let me pose another thought. Would you even be asking this question if same sex attractions and relationships were seen as a real option when you were developing your sexuality in adolescence? Some of us couldn't think outside the parameters of what was expected of us. Many were busy doing the right thing as young women and couldn't fully learn about our sexuality until we were more mature. We couldn’t and didn’t take time to focus the necessary time on ourselves.
Researchers have found that our sexuality is far more fluid than is generally presented to the public. We often become more free and self-aware as we get older. We certainly are not the same sexual beings that we were in our early 20's or will be in our late 40's or 50's. If we didn't place judgments on ourselves when not following the cultural "norm," loving someone of the same sex would hardly be a problem- it would just be a description of what is. And the label would be not be so loaded. It would just be.
There are many aspects of our identity that develop as we grow. I didn't learn how much I loved to counsel/do therapy until I was in my 30's. I had to experience it to realize it was my calling. Under the best of circumstances, our vision expands as we grow and often we realize there are more options for ourselves than we believed when younger. The option to love women has presented itself now, perhaps because you are now ready to handle the consequences. So, you must make some decisions. Becoming true to yourself in the present is all you can ask of yourself today.

Warm wishes to All.
Joanne

www.lavendervisions.com
215 248-0844