EIGHT SECOND RIDE

Alex sits erect in his wheelchair. He exudes confidence and quiet dignity. This controlled self-possession is impressive for someone just 20 years old. He looks me directly in the eye. He seems wary but at the same time assured he can deal with this interview. I knew he had ridden bareback in the rodeo. I wondered if this stoicism was a necessity to riding well. The life of a rodeo rider is always precariously on the edge. Yet, if you dwell on that edge you can’t help but fall off. Riding broncos teaches one to stare down the unexpected, to go with it if possible, to get up and try again if it is not.

He was injured on April 30, 2000, seven days before his 16th birthday. His cervical spine was dislocated. “Just basically like a shift, just a little bruise on the spinal column. Just enough..” he said, “Yeah, riding in a rodeo bareback. Wild horses and my hand blew out of my rigging. I went straight up in the air, did a flip or two, and came down and landed right on my head.”

Alex endures extreme spasms and spasticity. He no longer partakes of anti-spasmodic drugs other than the occasional muscle relaxer at night. Instead, he chooses to live fully physically aware of his body. The deadening side effects of the oral medications were not worth the temporary relief. Where once he could not do much by himself, he can now stand with assistance, move his legs a little. He claims to have full pinprick sensation over his entire body. He believes these changes would not be possible if he were retarding his muscle movement, voluntary or not, with drugs.

As we talked, his arms would often rise from the rests on his wheelchair. It was as if he was continually seeking a balance point, the persistent thrum of his spasms coursing through his otherwise immobilized body. The arm movements were subtle, like a conductor directing different sections of an orchestra, only this music was within him. There was no self-consciousness, they were too much a part of his life, but these movements seemed in counterpoint to his facial control. There was an inner concentration, a poise that allowed him to manage the movement and carry on with the questions and answers. Bareback riders must cultivate this balance, as well, though they are dealing with the explosive force and unpredictable movements of a wild animal. Perhaps inside Alex there is also wildness, a nervous system in chaos, fiercely angry at its inability to be free of the saddle strap and spurs of the trauma site.

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