“Loose Animal”--these are the words that Hubby used to describe himself in a recent email to his friends and family.  He, of course, means to be funny.  He is out of the hospital and starting to journey out into the world...he is a “loose animal”....as he says.  He painstakingly typed the email himself.  It took forever.  He can write and spell decently, but his hand coordination suffers due to the injury.  He tries to do 10 finger typing and it is a mess.  He has to use one finger key by key and he hates it.  It is his left hand that is giving him the most trouble still.  I have given up and started typing the emails for him.  So, if you get an email, know that it is his own words exactly, but he didn’t type it.  I don’t want communicating with friends to be a burden for him.   We’ve got to work on the fine motor skills a little more yet.

 

The picture above is from a brief visit we made to an air show.  He posed in front of the plane.  His arm appears to be on the wing, but it is not.  He is actually 3 feet in front of it.  This is an illusion, which was his idea.

 

As you can see, he is SKINNY!  I’ve been feeding him hamburgers and chocolate shakes.  He isn’t loosing weight, but he is not gaining it that fast either.   He is weak and tires easily.  We have a handicapped placard that I didn’t really think we needed, but we do.  He may be able to physically walk a distance, but the fatigue sets in quickly.

 

He is frustrated and sad at times.   But he is determined and has set his mind to healing.  He tells me that he wants to be a “careGIVER and not a careTAKER.”  He is beginning to realize what has been lost and what has changed.  He worries about his scars.  Surprisingly, the one on his head doesn’t bother him as much as the one on his neck--the one from his trach.  Every now and then he asks me “are you looking at my neck?”  I feel bad about that one.  I signed the papers for them to put the trach in and wondered why they were doing it since he could breathe on his own.  The docs said it would give him “time” and that is what he needed.  Three days later the pulmonary doctor at the rehab hospital was wanting to take it out.  He didn’t need it.  We actually had to wait for his stitches to heal before we removed it.  But I didn’t know.  He says the scar on his forehead doesn’t bother him because no one asks him about it.  I hope that lasts.

 

His confusion is clearing up.  He still has moments of disorientation that seem to come out of nowhere.  And he has the most difficulty with keeping track of time (day of the week, time of day, etc.).  He can also remember most of things he has done recently, but he mixes up things or gets the details wrong.   But if you ask him about how a diesel engine works or want to talk gas pumps, he’ll tell you in detail all you want to know!

 

In fact, he overcomplicates tasks and over explains everything.  I don’t know if this is more from his tbi or just “him”.  These were, of course, aspects of his personality before the accident...bless him!