A couple of fortunes ripped from cookies this past week:

Oooo. Deeeep. This was almost immediately dismissed as FAR too cliché. Too much “Buck up Lil’ Camper, things are bound to get better!” blind optimism and lack of creativity on the part of someone in the awkward position of needing to offer words of encouragement with very little inspiration or investment.

But then, this:

Better. The ironical twist at the end adds just enough levity to what could otherwise be a rather formidable proposition. Wait, so what’s it saying? Well, there’s something there about youth being associated with the fallacies and follies of misplaced self-identity, and that “growing up” involves the removal of same, and only achieved with a certain amount of fortitude. Those brave enough to endure such metamorphosis is rewarded with... themselves?

Let’s make some assumptions. Let’s assume that this “growing up” process is desirable and perhaps even part of some natural evolution. Let’s assume that this “courage”  is something rather elusive, an element hidden due to one’s lack of proper perspective about one’s abilities, or lack of understanding about the crucial part it plays in personal development.

So here we are. Through this little slip of paper we’ve been bestowed the secret of healthy maturity: guts. Thus begins the next level of self-examination: Do I have what it takes? Can I do this? Who’ll I be once I get there?

All that skepticism. All that doubt. All that need for reassurance. People like to know where they’re going, and what to expect when they get there. No surprises, ok? If this stone I’m stepping on isn’t solid and secure, I might fall and get swept down the river, never to return.

Besides, how does one know that they’ve “grown up”? Are people waiting with confetti and flashbulbs and applause? Is there some sort of badge that I get to wear or encase in lucite to put over the mantle to glance at from the comfort of my new easy chair? Is there some secret handshake that I get to learn to become part of some exclusive club?

So yeah, what about that? How is maturity measured? I thought these definitions interesting:

And what does “courage” have to do with any of this? Is it the courage to say “Fuck it” to all those little voices and just start moving? The courage to want to “grow up”? Courage in this case seems to have a helluva lot to do with faith, giving credence to that other voice that says “You know, something just ain’t right. I’ve gotta figure out what that is so I can fix it.”

Someone once said to me “Your first marriage is about who you want to be; your second marriage is about who you are.” Any number of people in my world who have been through more than one relationship has met that statement with a certain amount of agreement, wonder and sometimes relief. Maybe courage is sometimes about living life on your terms, at some point realizing that those terms change according to how/when/if we process the effects of those experiences.

It takes courage to sacrifice the comfortable, the routine, the familiar and opt for the fog of new choices, new decisions, new directions. What’s that other phrase artists use? “Leap, and the net will appear.” Courage conquers fear.

I don’t know. I haven’t gotten all of this quite right, but it’s a start. Kudos to those of you out there (you know who you are) who have taken your own leaps. How have they worked out? Does anyone ever regret their leap?? What have been the rewards? The surprises? Any words of wisdom or encouragement for those peering over the cliff?