Caffeine has an irritating way of kicking in 12 hours after I have imbibed. Which in this case was 2:30 in the morning. I have been niggling at God for an hour and half now, now trying to get her to solve all of my problems now, but she is not really responsive. After all, I am but one of at least 600 billion people that  must be looked after and my problems are quite mild say compared to a typical Iraqi, or someone in Jamaica right now.  

 

None the less, my mind will not stop talking to me even though it is 4:00 in the morning and I have a killer day scheduled for tomorrow that I can't get out of. No matter what, in two hours I have to get R. Holly out of bed   and off to school, I have to go in to work and finish 28 pages of newspaper that is filled with as yet undesigned ads, I have to work on the Mary Persons football program, getting photos ready to be inserted and about fifty other things that must get done or my share of the world will absolutely fall apart and I will have neglected my duties.  Where is the sympathy, God?  Surely just two more hours of sleep to fortify me is not too much to ask in the face of all that must be done tomorrow.

 

But somehow in my mind,  God turns the question back on  me.  Give me a break, she says to me.  Let me rest. There is Iraq and Dufar and Hurricane Dean wreaking havoc all over the place. People in jail, people being raped and murdered, dying in floods, mines, earthquakes.  And you want me to pay attention to your sleepless night?  Get a life. Go do something for somebody else. Be a little kinder or something, but let me alone.

 

Of course God would never say these things, would she?  After all we are all her little sparrows, her children.  Shit, I am in trouble. I would say things like that to my children. Let me get some sleep, shut up. Can't you see I have more serious problems than your show being canceled on TV and you have nothing to do....  Boy, if god is anything like me, expect the worse. Which of course is what is keeping me awake - expecting the worse.  Mulling it over, giving it lots of space in my head.  That damned caffeine. You think I would learn.