Back in the Kiln
 
“We are the clay, and thou are the Potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.” Isaiah 64:8b
 
I heard a story a couple years ago about an antique tea cup. It was used as an analogy to go along with this scripture. The tea cup was explaing how difficult it had been to withstand the heat of the kiln the first time it had been exposed to it. It begged to come out and the master artist replied, "I'm not done with you yet!" Once the cup came out of the kiln it was relieved, but only briefly for it's creator began to apply a sticky glaze. The cup begged the artist to stop to which he replied, "I'm not done with you yet!" Back into the blazing hot kiln the cup went. Uncomfortable and crying to come out, the creator was still not done with it yet.  He knew what he had in mind for the final product and would not stop until the cup was exactly as He had envisioned. The cup was placed in the kiln several times before it was complete. But once it was, the cup was a masterpiece. 
 
I knew when I accepted this challenge that I was going back into the kiln. My "why" is to become what my Creator has envisioned for me. I am commited to staying workable and allowing my Father to create in me what He has envisioned. I hadn't forgotten how uncomfortable it is, but I must admit I've been surprised at how I've been overcome by the heat. My first tendency was to cry to come out, but knowing He's not done with me yet, I allow Him to do His work. 
 
I feel His presence molding me. Just yesterday I shared with a few special friends the first time God's WORD came alive. The Bible is called The Living Word for a reason. It does come alive, speaking to each of us that seek it's teaching, as if our name could be at the beginning for the verse. I couldn't remember the chapter and verse, but I could remember the jest of it. "I waited patiently for the Lord. He heard my plea, pulled me from the pit, set me on a rock and put a new song to my mouth."  I'm not baffled any longer by God's speaking to me about my pride. I can see it's roll in my making assumptions, taking things personally, and being codependant. The root of those weeds is pride. WOW! I never would have guessed it. I learned a very valuable lesson in pride last year. After being humbled and brought to my knees, I thought I had sworn off pride forever. I want no part of me to be contaminated with pride. I'm shocked to find it is still present in my life, but so grateful for the awareness it's there, so I can take care of it this time for good. Like an undetected cancer, it would have been allowed to destroy me. With this new awareness I know the anecdote is humility and I"m going to pour myself into God's Word more today to get a great big hefty aggressive dose of it.
 
I know that God has put a very special song in my mouth. I have been SO PASSIONATE ABOUT SINGING IT, that I've ignored the fact I need to wait for his cue. I was talking to a lovely t.com member yesterday when I was sharing all of this with her. I jokingly said, "OMG! I pray in my eagerness to 'sing' I am not like one of those poor souls auditioning for American Idol that can't sing at all." They are horrible, yet convinced they are ready to be the next American Idol. I don't want to be an idol. But I do so want to sing my heart out. I do so want to sing it for the Glory of God and not the glory of Denise. I want my "golden ticket", not to Hollywood, but to HEAVEN. This is what I've got to get clear on. I must not focus on my feelings, my hurts, my wants or my needs. I am here to live for God's glory!!!! I am not here to live for Denise, but for God and for his people. That gives me such great joy, such peace and such comfort when I can stay focused on that. I've forgotten that and in my pride gotten turned around a bit and focused on "when is it my turn?" "what about my feelings?" "what about me". It's not a boastful pride, but it is about ego. If I weren't being proud, I wouldn't be asking those questions would I? If I were all about God and His glory, wouldn't I be completely content with just doing His work? Shouldn't I be more concerned about the report card that God is filling out on me rather than another human being's grade? YEP!!! I definitely require more time in the kiln!!!! I want God to work on me and eliminate this chip....these cracks....I'm ready for Him to reform me, so that I'm one step closer to being that masterpiece He's envisioned making of me. All of a sudden I'm not so hot anymore. I'm at peace and ready to "be patient in the Lord"
 
It didn't hurt when I opened my first devotion this morning and it read,
 
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.  He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD." Psalm 40:2-3 (NIV)
 
In the Potter's Hands,
Denise
Thursday, January 29, 2009