The Moment

风雨夜归人

Tue, 2 Sep 2008 02:50:06 +0100

一夜风雨，
敞开的窗，
有风声做伴。

陌生人，
三三两两，
都是寂了。

约定明天的相遇，
不确信，
却总有希望。

他，
和我一样。

黑暗中。
一夜风雨。

清明

Thu, 3 Apr 2008 19:10:38 +0100

十年生死两茫茫
不思量
自难忘
千里孤坟，无处话凄凉

纵使相逢应不识
尘满面
鬓如霜

夜来幽梦忽还乡
小轩窗，正梳妆
相顾无言，惟有泪千行

料得年年肠断处：
明月夜
短松冈

下雪的夜里我的冰冷的手

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 00:42:37 +0000

从pub出来的时候正在下雪。

推门而出，身后的嘈杂音乐嘎然而止。街道空荡荡地美丽。抬头看见昏黄路灯下满天飞舞的雪花，纯净地让人心痛。闭上眼，呼吸一口干净的空气，世界都仿佛安静下来。

我们穿过soho醉醺醺的路人和灯红酒绿，他牵着我的冰冷的手。

“上海的雪是怎样的？”他问。

“和伦敦一样的短暂。”

他拥着我。身边是此起彼伏的警笛和笑声，昏黄的路灯下，世界却安静地只剩下我们。

我的手在他的掌心中渐渐苏醒。我们呆呆地看着面前的雪花，却迷失了未来的方向。

他的头靠在我的肩上，像个孩子一样。

凌晨4点。

我们穿过那个小小的公园。天有些微亮，他的宝石蓝的眼睛在雪地的映照下显地纯净而美丽。我们不想回家，在公园里静静地等着天亮。

只听见风的声音。

复活

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 15:00:41 +0000

有一天，逝去的都会回来.

天是灰的，风是冷的，房间是死的。

“从此耶稣才指示门徒，他必须上耶路撒冷去，受长老祭司长文士许多的苦，并且被杀，第三日复活。”

复活是苦难的延续，正如结束是开始的延续。

“行善的复活得生，作恶的复活定罪。”

因为罪恶而复活，美丽而短暂：主说，你的罪是你的宿命。

“死既是因一人而来，死人复活也是因一人而来。”

如若幸福因一人而来，痛苦也因一人而来；如若生因一人而来，死也因一人而来；如若爱因一人而来，恨也因一人而来。

“所以，我们借着洗礼归入死，和他一同埋葬，原是叫我们一举一动有新生的样式，像基督借着父的荣耀从死里复活一样。”

在死与复活之间，是煎熬，是苦痛，是对自我的怀疑与放弃。

“他们要戏弄他，吐唾沫在他脸上，鞭打他，杀害他。”

三日后，他要复活。

不适宜的美丽

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 00:25:05 +0000

厕所的花开了。红得艳丽。

我坐在抽水马桶上，看着她发呆。脑子里是空白。

美丽，没有被期望。突如其来。

Tibet: I don’t know the truth, either do you

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 22:24:03 +0000

As a Chinese, sadly I can't get believable information from state media, therefore I turned to BBC, and take it for granted that it would deliver information without judgement. What I got? All one side and misleading news. BBC only reported Chinese police shot to Tibetan, UN calls for restraint, Tibetan talk about the unrest, which made an impression that Chinese government is despotic and Tibetan protesters are the justice power. But why BBC didn't show the truth that the protesters were violent and dangerous toward normal people who are not Tibetan? I watched the news from CNN, and was shocked by how barbaric they were and by any standard, that was not a "protest" but riots. ( http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/03/20/tibet.unrest/index.html#cnnSTCVideo )If this happens in UK or USA, will your government be restraint?

I agree to ask for human rights and free religion in China, but that doesn't means you can misleads people with wrong information to achieve certain purpose. That is as bad as Chinese media control!

The history of Tibet and its complicated relationship with Chinese central powers were too complex. It went through wars and conquest constantly. One undeniable factor is that Tibet was within Chinese territory since 13 century. And that is totally different case with European colony period. With the understanding that Tibet is part of China, everything is negotiable. And that is basically what Dalai Lama advocates. Now the problem is how European and UN push Chinese government to do so, and at the same time, how to improve Chinese human rights situation: that is what we should do. Asking for a Free Tibet and boycotting Olympics are not helping at all.

And yes, as a Chinese, I'm very annoyed with the media control and one party political system, but that takes time to change. You can't expect China would become democracy over one night, and boycotting Beijing Olympics is certainly worsening the whole situation. Anyone who would help China should work together with Chinese to push CCP to change the country's political system, and alongside, to help Tibet and other minority nationalities to improve their education and medical system. If you would watch the BBC 4 documentary "One Year in Tibet", you should understand what normal Tibetan need most is not politics conflict but education and medical facilities。

I suppose a better life for Tibetan is what we are working for, isn't it? As for Olympics. OK, you can disagree with CCP (so do I), but the Olympics is for Chinese people, with who's 50 years hard working to prove that we can finally be a host to the world, and to present a happy moment for the world. You would use Olympics as an opportunity to ask CCP to change, but boycott it would only hurt Chinese people, and break Chinese hospitable heart.

Can we just keep fighting and stop when Olympics comes like the old Greek, isn't that the spirit of Olympics? Friends and enemies get together to enjoy the moment of humanity.

英国病人

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 01:52:52 +0000

Anthony Minghella的爱情是残酷和温情的混合体。当他最终安静地躺在Charing Cross空寂的病房里，我看见匕首划过他冰冷的胸膛，血液静静地离开了他的身体，消毒药水的味道混合在他的血液中，生命和冰冷再一次融合——正如他的电影。

爱是彻底的绝望——你拼命想要抓住他，却只能眼睁睁地看着他在你面前燃烧，刺痛你的希望，直至灰烬。永远记得Ralph Fiennes在撒哈拉沙漠中最后一抹夕阳前的挣扎，还有Katharine在山洞中渐渐消逝的火光前的绝望。那种痛，是窒息的绝望和无休止的悔恨。两个人，看着对方离自己渐渐远去而无能为力。

In Memory, love lives forever.

永远，真的只是一刹那，然后是一生的悔恨和回忆。Anthony Minghella描绘的爱情。

当一切都烧毁，只剩下记忆的残片，细细咀嚼过往的伤痛便成了生命的唯一。在锡耶那破陋的小屋里，过去与现实交织在一起。身体的伤痛撕裂着一切的诺言和欲望，用冷酷回应着爱。

Anthony Minghella于是带着他冰冷的爱，在凌晨的寒意中拒绝了最后一次心跳。

他的手术台渐渐远去，然后是空荡荡的走廊，寂寞的大厅，空旷的街道，广场前的鸽子，灰蒙蒙的晨雾，孤独的公交车和车上更加孤独的乘客。

又一个普通的伦敦清晨。

一个英国病人带着他的爱与恨静静地离开。记忆中，爱恋不老。

致敬Anthony Minghella，告诉我什么是对爱最后一丝氧气般的坚持。

冷的空气让我想家

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 22:09:31 +0000

空气里有冷冽的气息。

下雪的夜晚，回家，远远地看见爸爸站在门口等我。有家真好。黑暗中，热的火锅。

拼命呼吸，想吸进鞭炮的味道。劣质的葡萄酒，明亮的白炽灯，红的脸。快乐真的无关富有。如果有来世，我还要做你的儿子。那些幸福不是一辈子可以偿还。

让风和寒冷包围自己——让我觉得真实，觉得被爱。

手机里有和爸妈的最后一张照片：如果可以，我愿意用生命去换多一分钟。如果可以。

最幸福的是平凡。那些每天的重复。窄窄的弄堂。

还有我的房间。温暖的灯。枕边的红楼梦。绿色的书桌。床头的风铃。沙发。书箱。带着阳光味道的被子。妈妈上楼的声音。蓝旧格子的窗帘。酒红的床。床头的玻璃装饰。放鹤亭。床上的抽屉。雨花石。

回忆，美好而伤人。

当物是人非时，要喝那奈何桥的孟婆汤。忘却三生石上的记忆。

如果可以这么简单。

好冷。却清晰地真实。

一个人的世界。

突然好怕

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 21:47:11 +0000

似乎一下子都变得不确定。好怀念上海，和他在一起的那些平静而安逸的日子。

伦敦的阳光照不进我的房间。金鱼怯生生地在水底徘徊。有些喘不过气。

音乐拯救不了我。Music’s for the sad man。

50瓦的灯照在自己的脸上，青春不再。有希望总是好的，她说。

希望是什么？

日子枯燥地过着。一个人。

愈发缺乏空气。打开窗户，暗夜的风吹进房间：远处是青黑的山黛和教堂的尖顶：万家灯火——却不是我的。

有些歌，一直不敢听，每次鼠标滑过，心底都会刺痛——火柴天堂。

看见天上的妈妈在说话，她说，你要勇敢，你要坚强，不要害怕，不要慌张，让你从此不会在流浪，妈妈牵着你的手回家，睡在温暖花开的地方

眼泪。

眼泪。

眼泪。
 

The Love Of Siam 想起一个人

Sun, 9 Mar 2008 21:17:56 +0000

看见Mew的笑，就想起了他站在午后阳光下的笑脸。

有些人注定要生活在你的记忆中——一辈子。

虽然久未联络，物是人非，但每次回家总忍不住要打听他的下落：终于见面时，他一上来就抓住了我的手，湿湿暖暖的，回忆一下子涌过来，时间仿佛从未离开。走在深夜空寂的马路上，我们手牵着手——像从前一样。

短暂的重逢后又断了联络，只知道他在武汉某部。奇怪的是那晚重逢时他的样子完全从记忆中消失，他永远是那个12，3岁的小男孩，在我的记忆里。人总要长大，可有时候真希望时间可以为他停留。然后还是那些个阳光灿烂的日子，我们牵着手搭着肩，把时光消磨在干燥而有着干草味的阳光里。

表妹以前跟我念一个学校，又是同级，每每看见我和他勾肩搭臂地走在一起，总是不能理解，“你们俩哪就那么要好呢？”小男孩之间的友谊暧昧而甜蜜。是那种介于兄弟和爱人之间的特别感觉。永远记得他开心而淘气的笑脸，还有那种种孩子气的举动。

看见Mew，这些回忆统统回来：奇怪世界上的两个人可以如此相像：一样的神情，一样的笑脸。

那是我的少年时光，和他一起的时光。

等我们更老的时候，看见对方已经陌生的脸，是否还会记得属于我们的青春？

The Interim Show

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 21:52:06 +0000

For these who can’t attend my interim show, here are the works I hang up for the show.

My current project is named,“ The Containers of Love”, they're about preserving or storing our emotions in physical forms. This project consists of 3 parts, each with its own theme: The Moment, The End is The Beginning and The Secret Keeper

"The Moment" is an installation about how to freeze the moments of our lives: Each test-tube is attached with a mobile short message, and the tube is connected to a thread with clay. When the clay dries and shrink, the test-tubes will fall into the containers below. And the attached messages will fade away(or dissolve) in the water.

"The End is The Beginning" is an experiment with urns, with an approach from a different point of view: The urn is made of bio-degradable paper, filled with bone ash inside. Eventually, they will degrade together and be the nutrition for the tree, hence becoming a part of it.

"The Secret Keeper" is a devise that does what it says. Write down your secrets and keep it in the tube, then bury them with seeds. As the flowers grow, they become your secret keepers.

The project is still in progress, so if you can’t make the interim show, don’t worry... the final show in June should be much better. At this stage, I’m more interested in getting feedback, concept-wise. And after the interim show, I will be focusing on the executional and art directional aspects of the project.

The Earthquake | 地震

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 20:55:34 +0000

It earthquaked last night.

Was so cool.

I’m always wondering what’s missing in my life. Seems like I’ve done what I have to do, seen what I have to see, and eaten what I have to eat. However, as much as we want, something is still control by the god, such as - earthquake.

Read the news this morning, it’s said that the epicentre was in Lincolshire at the 5.2. England is a small country after all, back in China, we got several 7 something every year (not being proud, just state some fact )

It was about 1 am. I was half sleep when the sound start to roar under my bed, and it actually felt quite amazing: almost like sitting in a roller coaster. I thought I was dream, tried hard to wake myself and sobered up suddenly realizing : it’s an earthquake. The dread didn’t come at all, but excitement: the long-waiting-finally-show-up excitement. It’s a shame it didn’t last long enough, just several seconds: as we always say, happiness never stay.

Thinking about the extreme experience at death, for no reason.

Maybe it is beautiful at the moment of dying.

If, it was 7.8 last night, and I’m 6 feet under, would I regret about my life?

No: I do want to go to moon, I do want to have a panda or lion as pet, and I do want to clone my own kid: but, save it. Our desire is endless, enjoy what we got, and that’s what happiness means.