7/17/03
I had a conversation with someone today regarding my motivations for the Web site, the blog and the pirate FM radio station I have in an abandoned shed behind the high school.
I fumbled a little for an explanation that didn't make me sound like a complete egomaniac. I started talking about keeping in touch with family and friends. I told her that it's neat to be a part of a community and know about what's happening in the lives of people you care about.
She said she didn't want anyone to know about her life. She valued her privacy.
That made me feel stupid. Not that I reveal all that much about our lives here. It just made me feel really desperate for attention.
Then she asked if I worried about Allie's safety considering the fact that anyone can come to this site and see pictures and more than likely suss where we live.
That also made me feel stupid. Particularly when you consider some of the things you read about in the paper.
Now don't get me wrong. I didn't mind feeling stupid. I'm used to the posture and this was an interesting conversation that made me think about why I'm sitting here in the basement typing. I wish I could stumble into more conversations like this. I married a person that has similar skills for this very reason (plus I'm really into humiliation). But I did have to dig a little to come up with a definitive answer for maintaining this site.
So I turned to Debbie's Grandma, Martha, for an explanation. Her simple journals were an incredible gift to her family. She recorded the weather and the meals she made and each page wound up becoming a legacy. But I've already said these things. I just never tried to apply it to what I'm doing here. Or did I? Maybe that was an email from Jon, I forget.
Anyway I claimed that this site was my legacy. The only thing that would tether a portion of my soul to the world after I die. I told her that good works, helping my fellow man and what not takes too much effort. Why pound nails for Habitat for Humanity when I can sit in my cool basement and suck down a Snapple while I leave my imprint on the world for my kids?
Heh.
There doesn't need to be an explanation. I'm far too introspective as it is. I just like showing and telling you how much I like being married to my wife, how fast my kid is growing, how smart and funny the rest of my family and friends are and why I should probably find a pair of shorts that won't show the crack of my ass off to my neighbors.