6/16/03
Father's Day is one of those sneaky holidays that you're either completely prepared for or it slips by like United Nation's Day. I called both my Dads and spent some time at my father-in-law's home but there was no barbecue, no gift giving, no dutiful washing of feet (huh?). In fact, I just left a message with Dave. I didn't even directly speak with him to say, "Happy Father's Day."
That's not good.
It's not that I don't appreciate the men in my life. It's not that I don't have any gratitude for what they have contributed to my upbringing. I like most of the parts of clay they have slapped on the oversized, polymorphic sculpture (a definite work in progress) that is me. It's more a simple matter of me being too unnecessarily wrapped up in myself to take the time to do something nice for my Dads.
I have several people for whom I need to do something nice. I need to invest some time, effort, resources into creating a pleasant memory for people I care about. At this stage in my life, I've convinced myself that I can get away with not making these type of investments. I'm way too busy with work and home. That's a load of crap. I'm writing this. I could eliminate this bit of typing and go out and find the Mother's Day present I still haven't given my Mom. But I won't. I'm going to continue to type.
I got mine. For being a Dad I was awarded a new micro-cassette recorder and a T-shirt. The T-shirt says, "Classic Daddy". I put it on but didn't feel "classic". In fact, I felt downright unconventional. I felt like a man who doesn't know the first thing about being a proper parent. I muddled through my daughter's first three years and I've managed to keep her alive and somewhat well-adjusted by being lucky and employing the help of a team of skilled experts (namely my wife).
Okay, I'm being melodramatic. I'd say have to say that by most standards I've earned my T-shirt. I love being Allie's Daddy and when you love doing something you're usually good at it. For a more accurate assessment you'd really need to have a conversation with Allie. But I'm confident that I would earn good marks in most of the standard parental evaluation categories. With the new baby on the way, I'm up for promotion to double Daddy duty so Allie's assessment is critical. I imagine it would go something like:
"Do you have a good Daddy?"
"Yes."
"Why is he a good Daddy?"
"He gives me string cheese an almonds after daycare."
"Is that the only reason he's a good Daddy?"
"Yes."
"That's the only reason you like him?"
"Yes. I really like almonds."
"There has to be something other than almonds that you like about your Daddy."
"He turns purple when I spill things on the sofa. That's funny."
"He turns purple."
"Yeah, an he farts a lot. Farts are funny. 'Cept Mommy doesn't think so. She thinks farts are disgusting an when she calls Daddy a swine he turns purple again."
If you don't think Allie uses the word, "disgusting" then you'd be wrong. Part of the problem with having a three-year-old with a decent vocabulary is you find yourself having unusual conversations about topics ranging from Spongebob to Daddy not really going anywhere with his career.
I'd really like to wrap this up by having a point, but I don't think I do so let's recap: I feel guilty for not providing a proper tribute to my Dads. I'm unsure about my own parenting skills however most people have similar doubts and fears and I should just chill and do my best to make sure my wife and kid(s) have a good time.
Everyday.