6/1/03

Remind me to never get premium movie channels on cable.

This weekend was the Starz Free Movie Weekend. I got things done this weekend during the day. However, I didn't go to bed until 3:00 a.m. on Saturday and 1:30 a.m. last night.

Must watch... Must keep awake... Must watch...

Other than not sleeping and then operating heavy machinery, my other mistake was allowing my daughter to see part of a Starz Free Movie Weekend movie. The film we were watching was K-Pax. It seemed pretty tame as I was watching it. It was rated PG-13 so I thought there couldn't be too much that was objectionable and if there was, Allie would be oblivious to the context. Plus, we were playing on the couch more than watching the movie so I left it on.

There was a scene where the central character is confronted with the death of his wife and daughter. He is hypnotized and relives the night when he comes home to find his family murdered. Then this character kills the man that committed the crime. There were some pretty nasty images of a brutalized woman and girl that were fortunately heavily blurred with the typical off-kilter camera angles of a flashback sequence.

Fortunately I was able to cover Allie's eyes when the worst of it popped up on the screen (and it wasn't that bad). What she didn't miss was the scene after the violence when the character was sobbing at the realization that his family was dead. Allie looked at the screen, then looked at me. She looked at the screen and then looked back at me again.

Then she started bawling.

I grabbed her and held her tight and told her that everything was okay. She wouldn't let go of me and cried into my neck. "That's so sad, Daddy. I'm so sad. I don't wanna watch that sad movie anymore." I felt awful. It was all my fault. I took her upstairs and put her down on the sofa. When Deb asked what was wrong I told her it was a sad movie.

"I don't wanna watch the sad movie," Alex told her Mom.

Okay, I'm a bad Dad. I shouldn't have let her see parts of a movie that included a (according to the PG-13 rating box), sequence of violent images and brief language and sensuality. I know that Angelina Ballerina accidentally losing her favorite doll should be the height of emotional upheaval that my daughter should be witnessing at this point in her life. I do know this.

I suppose the silver lining is the confirmation I got that my daughter has empathy. Not that I didn't know this prior to today, but after reading article after article about the emotional desensitization of children a parent starts to worry. The worst part is feeling so incredibly helpless about the entire matter. I mean, in the future should I lock the television in the basement? Should I screen all of her friends and keep her from seeing the ones that have X-Boxes? Should I frisk her and dig through her book bag in search of contraband literature like Teen People? Should I restrict her CD collection to Yanni, John Tesh and old Up With People recordings?

The only thing I'm sure of is I've got a sensitive, caring little girl that feels bad when she sees a man crying. Not an uncommon set of gifts, but it's my responsibility to preserve them as best I can. I won't keep the world away from my kid, but I'm hoping I can grow the part of my her that feels bad when others are in pain and, more importantly, wants to help.

Whoa. I didn't expect to wind up in here; in concerned parent land. I just was trying to tell you what we did this weekend. I should have just stuck to:
-Tried to go to a minor league baseball game in monsoon like conditions with tornadoes touching down all over the place.
-Consoled my daughter after she saw a violent/sad movie.
-Sacrificed sleep to the cable gods.
-Ticked off my neighbor because I mentioned I was going to a hardware store other than the one at which his son works.
-Reorganized the garage (with shelves, hooks and what not).
-Bought paint for the new baby's room (light green, but not minty).
-Cleaned the cat boxes.
-Ordered pizza.

That's it. That's what we did.

Why don't you people ever write me and tell me what you did over the weekend. I want to know this stuff.