4/15/03
Deb has a toothache.
It's been bothering her for a few days now. She went to see our dentist on Monday. Our dentist referred Deb to a group of endodontists. If you don't already know what an endodontist does, here's the skinny:
An endodontist examines, diagnoses and treats diseases and destructive processes, including injuries and abnormalities of dental pulps and periapical tissues of the teeth. Endodontists examine patients and interpret radiographs and pulp tests to determine pulp vitality and periapical tissue condition, then evaluate their findings and prescribe a method of treatment to prevent loss of teeth. Responsibilities include performing pulpal therapy, surgical treatment of radicular areas and removal of pathologic periapical tissue.
Two things in that paragraph give me the willies:
1) Pulpal therapy.
2) Removal of pathological perapical tissue.
I always suspected Debbie harbored pathological tissue. I just didn't know it was in her mouth.
Anyway, they're going to remove my wife's pathological perapical tissue. They're going to do it with a drill.
Poor Deb. She's coping as well as she can while she waits on "emergency standby" for an endodontic appointment. She's chewing on one side of her mouth and trying to avoid hot and cold beverages. She takes a single Tylenol once every four hours so that the baby won't be born a junkie.
This is our major concern at the moment. There's nothing worse than an infant with a monkey on it's back. And you know, Tylenol is merely a gateway drug. Before you know it you've got a toddler hooked on Benadryl and fermented Juicy Juice.
As I write this we're waiting for the call. As soon as we hear from them, Deb must be at the endodontist within twenty minutes of their call. That means she'll need to drop everything immediately. Plus she'll have to make provisions to have a Bat Pole installed near where ever she decides to park for the fastest possible entry to her vehicle.
With such strict guidelines, I was hoping they'd at least provide Deb with one of those pagers with the circle of bright red blinky LEDs (like they use at Bennigan's). I read their brochure but didn't find anything about blinky pagers. If I were an endodontist, there would be blinky pagers for everyone.
So if you've got a few spare moments (and if you're reading this crap, I know you do) drop Debbie a line. Her pain is so intense that she won't understand the majority of your email, but I'm sure she will appreciate the sentiment. Plus the nonsensical, pain-induced hallucinatory reply that you get will probably be hilarious.
-UPDATE-
Deb got in to see the endodontist and they did a fast professional job of getting rid of the dead, rotting nerve.
She is in pain. She's not eating dinner. She's on the recliner with her eyes closed, but she's not sleeping.
She has a call into the OB/GYN to see if she can take narcotic Tylenol to help with the pain. Still no word but as soon as we get the call I'm on my way to the pharmacist.