3/12/03
You know you don't have anything to say when...
Last night, around 2:44 a.m., I thought about writing to you. Unfortunately prior to waking up so early I took three aspirins and two Suphedrines. That means the topics I generated last night don't sound as appealing as they did when I was hopped-up on over-the-counter cold medicine.
Here are a few of them:
-I still haven't called my Grandma to wish her a happy birthday and why it's
your fault.
-How do I get Allie to eat more vegetables and, more importantly, how do I get
her mother to do the same?
-Why should I give up my den when the baby would have more room in the basement?
-I think the new microwave is smarter than me.
-Who would win in a fight: Dolly, Rollaround Regina or Angelina Ballerina?
-Soup.
-Does the convenience store lady know where I live?
-Why Dwayne's wife, Raquel, already dislikes me even though she hasn't met me?
-Does Debbie know that some days I wear her moisturizer?
-Why do I get Triscuits and Wheat Thins confused?
-Is the convenience store lady hiding in the basement?
-How a water softener would significantly improve our lives.
-Why I choose to remain fat and other ways I purposely endanger my health.
Actually, more serious matters were tumbling around in my head. I'll spare you the details, but needless to say I'm maintaining my negative opinion of the French. I'm sure there are some nice French people in some of the more rural areas. For example: I'm sure LeBeau, of Hogan's Heroes fame, was from a small province well away from Paris.
I suppose what I'm trying to tell you is that I don't have anything to tell you. No real news. Nothing interesting to share. But it's been more than a week since I wrote to you and I didn't want you to think that I had forgotten. Not that I get all that much feedback from you. I never get email like:
Dear Greg,
I read what you wrote about the convenience store lady and I'm pretty sure your
fears are justified.
Watch your back, Dude.
Love,
Someone Who Cares
All I get lately are offers that guarantee significant increases in the size of my manhood.
I'm told I don't require any increases in the size of my manhood. What I'm in search of is inspiration. A little give and take from you that will help me avoid posting crap like this in the future. So be brave and send a message today to: